In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teens working outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, it is increasingly becoming common

for

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show examples

some countries that, young people are encouraged to get a part-time

job

Use synonyms

during

the

Change the word

their

show examples

school

Use synonyms

years.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore both sides of

issue

Add an article

the issue

an issue

show examples

and argue that. On the one hand, the

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

job

Use synonyms

should be beneficial for teens after graduation.

That is

Linking Words

to say, they can explore new

environment

Fix the agreement mistake

environments

show examples

for themselves and it might help them to find well-paid

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

in the future.

For example

Linking Words

, it is so

challanging

Correct your spelling

challenging

to find

suitable

Add an article

a suitable

show examples

job

Use synonyms

in the world competition and they do not need to waste time to gain professional skills after finishing

school

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

that, young people can provide themselves with money without relying on a family and financial difficulties.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many

school

Use synonyms

children in

growing

Correct article usage

the growing

show examples

period may face some health problems.

In other words

Linking Words

, some jobs

Add a missing verb

are

show examples

physically demanding or complicated which leads to health problems like deformation of their

bones

Change the noun form

bone

show examples

structure.

Additionally

Linking Words

, some working areas may be hazardous, which requires

Verb problem

apply

show examples

contact with chemicals. Given that, the drawbacks

releated

Correct your spelling

distruction

Correct your spelling

destruction

distraction

from study in the

school

Use synonyms

program may cause their

abilitiy

Correct your spelling

ability

to perform well. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

, working

limeted

Correct your spelling

limited

time might be beneficial for

childrens'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

future career path,

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

side

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighs

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

side,

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

children should pay attention

Change preposition

show examples

their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

and enjoy their young period of life.

uluga2002Fri May 02 2025

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Task Achievement

In your introduction, be clear and specific about what you will discuss. Make sure to state both the advantages and disadvantages explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical flow between ideas by using linking words or phrases. This will help the reader follow your argument better.

Task Achievement

Make sure to expand on your points more thoroughly. For example, provide additional examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is an important aspect of essay writing.

Task Achievement

You touch upon relevant points regarding both the advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for addressing the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial independence
time management
work-life balance
practical experience
resume building
social skills
responsibility
stress management
academic performance
distraction
workload
personal development

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In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teens working outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

Many university students feel literature boring and unnecessary. Why is this case? Is there any benefit for this?

Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that it is, therefore, important to spend money researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?