IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

IELTS Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no denying fact
that is
Linking Words
, friends
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
meat
Correct your spelling
meet
show examples
 each other have more meaningful
Use synonyms
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 than online
Use synonyms
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 it could be for different reasons,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both arguments and give my
opinion
Use synonyms
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay
Firstly
Linking Words
, for
some
Add a comma
some,
show examples
 it can take the place of
Use synonyms
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
friend ship
Correct your spelling
friendship
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as if they were in different
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 and they
Wrong verb form
couldn't
show examples
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 go out together on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis , there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
Use synonyms
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 going on online
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 plenty
reasons
Change preposition
of reasons
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as if they were friends from before it could help them to remain there
friendship
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
 there
a-lot
Correct your spelling
a lot
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who get bond in their relationships from online apps, which could be more meaning relation ,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
other wise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
show examples
, On the
second
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 say it
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 have
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 meaning of
friends ship
Correct your spelling
friendship
show examples
 because the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it is to communicate, through our feelings and our emotions, and share
a-lot
Correct your spelling
a lot
show examples
 of
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 with each other that what
give
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friendship
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meaning,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 we can go for walk or we can go to
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
 for a dinner to share a good time or perhaps
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 together ,anyhow meeting
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
friendship
Use synonyms
 is helps to get more meaningful
friendship
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
i held
Verb problem
I
show examples
 believe that both of the
Use synonyms
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
 have good reasons and
view
Correct subject-verb agreement
views
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, and my
opinion
Use synonyms
 is not
meaningful
Rephrase
as meaningful
show examples
 as if it was
Use synonyms
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
Replace the word
friending
show examples
friend ship
Correct your spelling
friendship
show examples
 so I agree with the second
opinion
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Please ensure to proofread your work for grammatical errors and proper word usage.
coherence
Organize your ideas more clearly, perhaps by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points better, as this will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion, which is important in task response.
coherence
You attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, showcasing your ability to consider different perspectives.
coherence
Your conclusion does summarize your views, which is good practice for essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: