In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,
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Correct pronoun usage
it this
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this
Correct your spelling
has
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become
tradition
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a tradition
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in many nations that senior citizens
send
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are sent
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to
orphanage
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orphanages
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when they get old
as
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apply
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like in Britain, where all the staff take
care
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of these old
people
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and higher authorities
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
have to pay for their expenses. I think both
government
Correct article usage
the government
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and
family
Correct article usage
the family
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should pay for
this
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, which I will discuss in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,
families
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are
big
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a big
the big
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pillar for old
people
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. As, when they get old they need love, affection, and
care
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from their loved ones. If they
send
Wrong verb form
are sent
show examples
to that kind of place with strangers that will affect them negatively emotionally and
health wise
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health-wise
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.
Secondly
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, there should be
senior
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a senior
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person present in
family
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the family
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because they are wise and
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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who will give
best
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the best
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advice to their house members about difficult situations.
For instance
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, in India there is 90% of
senior
Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
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ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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live with their
families
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without thinking of when parents get old they become
burden
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a burden
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on their children’s
shoulder
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shoulders
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.
Moreover
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, parents give and do everything for their juvenile’s upbringing. So, when parents get old
then
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why don’t children take them as their responsibility now
this
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is the time for
families
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to take
care
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for
Change preposition
of
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them.
However
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, why higher authorities
has
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have
show examples
to pay for senior citizens because some
families
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are suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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from poverty and they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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not enough to pay for their medicines and other things.
For example
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,
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
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done by
Hindustan
Correct article usage
the Hindustan
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times
Capitalize word
Times
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows 80% of old
people
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got medicines and need
able
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
things because of
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
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help
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
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provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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funds for them, which
saves
Wrong verb form
saved
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many lives.
Also
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, there is
pension
Correct article usage
a pension
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service for older
people
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provided by
government
Add an article
the government
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in many countries, where they get money each year for buying medicines and food.
In
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As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, that
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
tension among
families
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who barely earn for their family.
To conclude
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with
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apply
show examples
, there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
some many causes which
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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why both
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and
families
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to pay for the
care
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of older
people
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. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they are
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
part of the society and family who should take
care
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
them.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all your sentences are fully structured and clearly convey your ideas. Some sentences could benefit from clearer subject-verb-object order, which would improve comprehension.
task achievement
Try to provide more comprehensive examples that support your arguments more effectively. The examples used are somewhat vague and could be better linked to your points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure to enhance the flow of your essay. Using a mix of simple and complex sentences can make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, stating that both government and family should contribute to the care of elderly people, which is a strong point.
task achievement
The use of specific cultural references, such as the situation in India, adds depth to your argument and shows your understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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