With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? Angsa

Some argued that untouched
areas
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should be investigated to
fulfill
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fulfil
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the growing demand for fossil fuels.
Although
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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oil and gas
extraction
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could help to meet the need, it
also
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causes a detrimental impact on the environment. I completely disagree with
this
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statement for several reasons, which are explained
further
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with suitable explanations and examples. First and foremost, environmental damage is a major concern. To explain it, many
areas
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are sensitive,
such
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as the Arctic, rainforests, and deep-sea environments. The process of investigating these
areas
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could lead to irreversible damage,
such
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as oil spills, habitat destruction, and loss of biodiversity.
Additionally
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, it is
also
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a violation of human rights. theses undiscovered places are home to someone who
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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on them for survival and culture. Resource
extraction
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can displace them,
pollute
Correct word choice
and pollute
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the air, soil, and water.
For instance
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, a survey conducted in Japan revealed that over 90% of environmental pollution is caused by the demand for fossil fuels, leading to issues
such
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as deforestation and the release of toxic gases into the air. Moving
further
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, dependency on non-renewable energy sources goes against
to combat
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combating
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global warming. The world has already faced the effects of global warming, including rising sea levels, melting glaciers, and extreme weather. By continuing the use of these resources, people contribute to making
this
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condition hazardous.
Nextly
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Next
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, the
extraction
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process requires a huge amount of money, and it may cause health problems
such
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as asthma, lung disease, and dirty drinking water for nearby communities.
For example
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, the research conducted by a
neighboring
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neighbouring
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university had data that more than 70% of the increment can be witnessed after the introduction of hydrocarbon fuels.
To sum up
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, I believe that opening undiscovered
areas
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for oil and gas
extraction
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is not a responsible or long-term solution;
instead
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of wasting money on short-term solutions, people should invest in sustainable development.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position against opening undiscovered areas for oil and gas extraction, but could benefit from more detailed examples and further development of ideas in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using clearer linking phrases between your main points to enhance coherence and allow for smoother transitions.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to language accuracy, particularly regarding minor grammatical issues and word choice that might hinder clarity in your arguments.
structure
Your introduction clearly states your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your stance against fossil fuel extraction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • oil and gas
  • undiscovered areas
  • exploration
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable energy
  • renewable resources
  • economic growth
  • habitat destruction
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • technological advancements
  • sustainable extraction
  • conservation efforts
  • energy security
  • fossil fuels
  • resource management
  • geopolitical implications
  • energy transition
  • resource depletion
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