IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Umar

There is a possibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 scientific researchers and
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 to have access to natural locations. Increased ecotourism to those new environments,
for instance
Linking Words
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 to the South Pole, is an advantage for the local people as it may benefit the
overall
Linking Words
 economy and promote natural conservation.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 so-called "sustainable tourism" may bring detrimental disadvantages by creating non-eco-friendly accommodations and
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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 a huge loss
for
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of
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 the biodiversity of the tourist attraction. The pros of allowing
expedition
Fix the agreement mistake
expeditions
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rustic places are encouraging environmental
sustainabilty
Correct your spelling
sustainability
, upgrading the economy, and advancing cultural exchanges.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by organizing interesting and educational activities for the tourists, there will be a promotion of natural conservation
due to
Linking Words
 the
favor
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favour
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 that the
travelers
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travellers
show examples
 have for that place.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having a wider target of
tourisms
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
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 can help the townspeople introduce their local sourcing of traditional food and clothing to the visitors and
therefore
Linking Words
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
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 the economy.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, by opening
to
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apply
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more sightseeing attractions, there would be a promotion
in
Change preposition
of
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 cultural exchange. The main disadvantages are bringing destruction to the environmental sustainability and loss of biodiversity.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as many outsiders visit, they may not be respectful and cause an increase in waste production.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the waste and the continuous carbon emission might lead to a complete demolition of biodiversity. In general, it is patently seen that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 numerous strategies that the natives can use to approach the possible outcomes
such
Linking Words
 as using green practices and applying strict rules for sightseers.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both the advantages and disadvantages that you will discuss. A clearer thesis statement would help guide the reader through your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using more linking phrases and transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will make it easier for readers to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, examples of successful ecotourism initiatives could strengthen your argument about economic benefits.
Content
You have a good understanding of the topic and present both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of paragraphs is generally clear, with distinct advantages and disadvantages discussed in their respective paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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