IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Global warming is not caused by human activity. Changes in average temperatures throughout all climate zones are a normal phenomenon. Therefore, countries need not take any actions to combat global warming that would negatively impact their economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people might have a notion that global warming is not merely affected by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, rather it could be developed by a natural
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 changes. I am completely against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the statement since I believe that the issue of
this
Linking Words
 shifting
temperature
Use synonyms
 is majorly caused by the people.
Firstly
Linking Words
, even though there might be a natural shifting of our
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
, human activity still may be playing a big role in impacting the changes. Global warming is caused by the soaring amount of greenhouse
gases
Use synonyms
 in the atmosphere,
such
Linking Words
 as CO2 and CH4, which
released
Add a missing verb
are released
show examples
 from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fossil-fuels burning. These
gases
Use synonyms
is absorbing
Wrong verb form
absorb
show examples
 and
reflecting
Wrong verb form
reflect
show examples
 the heated
temperature
Use synonyms
, which
consequently
Linking Words
trapping
Wrong verb form
traps
show examples
 the warm
temperature
Use synonyms
 and
illustrating
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 a greenhouse-like phenomenon.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is commonly aware that the development of human activities in industry and transportation is intensively releasing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 considerable amount of greenhouse
gases
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere.
For instance
Linking Words
, fossil-fuel industries
such
Linking Words
 as an oil company and a coal-fired plant
commonly
Add a missing verb
are commonly
show examples
 known as the major emitters of the
gases
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a mode of transportation
such
Linking Words
 as a plane
also
Linking Words
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major contributor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the emissions.  In conclusion, I strongly believe that human activities play a major role in
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 warming phenomenon as they contribute to a considerable amount of greenhouse
gases
Use synonyms
release
Change the form of the verb
released
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. If
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
keep blaming the natural phenomenon as the global
temperature
Use synonyms
 changes, how could we evaluate and improve ourselves to be a better problem solver in today's
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as climate change?

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your position on global warming and summarizing your main points. For instance, mention the significant impact of human activities on climate change explicitly in your introduction.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your arguments by providing more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, when mentioning industries that contribute to greenhouse gas emissions, explain how their operations lead to greater warming.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, try to restate your main argument in a more impactful way to reinforce your position. Also, ensure that your final thoughts resonate well with the content of your essay and provide a strong closure.
task achievement
You have a clear stance against the statement and present relevant arguments to support your position.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as greenhouse gases and modes of transportation, demonstrates relevant knowledge about the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global warming
  • Climate change
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Deforestation
  • Industrialization
  • Ecological balance
  • Innovation
  • Sustainable development
  • Biodiversity
  • International cooperation
  • Green jobs
  • Unprecedented rate
  • Extreme weather events
  • Renewable energy sources
  • Carbon footprint
  • Fossil fuels
  • Environmental policy
  • Climate mitigation
  • Eco-friendly technologies
  • Economic impacts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: