Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.]

It is believed that teens should live with their relatives

while

Linking Words

other parents advocate

them

Change preposition

for them

show examples

to have their own place when they become older to foster responsibility and confidence.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both views and present my perspective. On one side of the argument, those who are in favour of living young people alone point out that they learn to manage their lives properly. When youngsters live independently , they take account of domestic

responsibilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

such

Linking Words

as cleaning and cooking. Another potential reason is that

this

Linking Words

action leads them to become independent financially.

In other words

Linking Words

, they manage how to deal with their money and how to appreciate

the

Change the word

its

show examples

value of it ,

for example

Linking Words

, they should pay for bills, food, and their houses.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, they might think more before purchasing anything that they desire and may become less impulsive in their spending. On the other side, some people object to the above and claim that adolescents should stay with their families. In the first place, living together is costless as the whole family

purchase

Fix the agreement mistake

purchases

show examples

for their basic needs equally.

Therefore

Linking Words

they may increase their saving significantly.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there is no doubt that families can support each other emotionally ,

for instance

Linking Words

,in the time of

bereavements

Fix the agreement mistake

bereavement

show examples

. Research shows that young people who live with their parents are more happy and they face less mental health issues.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation increases the level of life security in terms of crime events

such

Linking Words

as robbery. In conclusion, the reason why I believe adolescents should establish a separate household they may become more self-reliant and self-confident person compared to others who stay with their families.

delkhoshsharifSat May 03 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to provide a clearer distinction and elaboration between the two views discussed in the essay. This can strengthen your overall argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas logically flow from one to the next, possibly using more cohesive devices to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or studies in support of your points. This can enhance the strength of your arguments and provide relevance.

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument clearly and give a balanced view, which is commendable.

coherence and cohesion

Your use of vocabulary (e.g., 'impulsive', 'bereavements', 'self-reliant') is quite effective and shows a good range.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether urban areas ought to replace parks and spaces with gardens to promote agriculture is a recurring argument. This writer argues that the benefits of encouraging consuming healthily and raising awareness of health outweigh the drawbacks of causing some social problems.
7
band
Some people think it is more important to spend money on road and motorways rather than on public transport systems such as railways and trams.
In today’s world, it is a common belief that expanding money on making streets and highways is more advantageous than public transit. In my opinion, I totally disagree with the idea that it is necessary to spend on roads and motorways because it causes pollution and wastes a myriad of money.
7
band
Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others says that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
It is believed that individuals who take measures to protect the environment have little impact, whereas, it is also claimed that individuals can shoulder the responsibility for protecting the environment. I am more inclined toward the initial view for several reasons.
6.5
band
Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
In recent years, children, like adults, have become increasingly exposed to computers. While some child psychologists have claimed that this is a good thing, others have claimed that it has an overwhelmingly detrimental impact on children. In this essay, I shall draw upon a number of studies in cognitive science and industrial psychology that reveal the positive and negative aspects of this phenomenon.
7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
These days many individuals tend to have their own businesses in comparison with having regular work in offices or factories. These people think that the salary is not enough for them and also they have much less time to do other work to increase their income.

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.]

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on road and motorways rather than on public transport systems such as railways and trams.

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others says that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.