IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with this statement and to what extent?

In today's era of
raising
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rising
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 living
cost
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costs
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 a significant number of individuals
concerned
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are concerned
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 about their expenses of
education
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. It is advised that
education
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 should be free of cost. I agree with the statement to some extent. There are two main reasons why schooling should be free for each and every person.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some talented students who belong to unprivileged communities,
deprived
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are deprived
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from
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of
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 higher study. If these students
helped
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are helped
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 financially to get educated
then
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 it is not only beneficial for their personal, but
also
Linking Words
 good for
countries
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the country's
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 growth. These highly educated and talented students contribute to the GDP of
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country
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the country
a country
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. When they do highly paid jobs, and pay taxes to the
government
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then
Linking Words
 it
leds
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leads
 economic growth of
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country
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the country
a country
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 .
secondly
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, it reduces
crime
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the crime
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 rate. When
whole
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a whole
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country
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eligible
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is eligible
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 to do
academic
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academics
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 without paying tuition fees, everyone would be swamped to make their future. After getting
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education
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an education
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then
Linking Words
 people have plenty of options to set up their career which helps for
good
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a good
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 mindset.
Education
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 will facilitate mind stability,
due to
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 which negative thoughts ,
such
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 as theft, drugs,
muders
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murders
ecetra
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extra
etcetera
, will never
comes
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come
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in
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into
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 their minds. That being said, I believe that without paying any Academy fee or fully funded schooling is very unrealistic because highly experienced teachers will not be ready to provide learning free of cost
due to
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 which standards of
education
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 will go down.
Moreover
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,
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government
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the government
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 can't subsidize
full
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the full
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 academic
fee
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fees
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, especially
developing
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in developing
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 countries. Canada,
for example
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, is one of the developed
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country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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, but their
government
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 just pay off
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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half of the tuition fees. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
education
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 is
fundamental
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a fundamental
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 right and everyone is equally eligible to acquire it, I believe that
fully
Correct article usage
a fully
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 funded Academy free by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 is
unprectical
Correct your spelling
unpractical
.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your perspective, but it could be strengthened by providing a more specific thesis statement that outlines the main points you'll discuss. Also, ensure to phrase your ideas more cohesively.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, ensure that they are developed more thoroughly. For example, expand on how education contributes to personal and national growth with specific examples. Additionally, clarify your counter-argument regarding the feasibility of free education.
coherence and cohesion
Some of your sentences are quite complex and may confuse the reader. Aim for clarity and coherence by using simpler structures. Also, be mindful of punctuation and grammar to enhance understanding and flow.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, as this will guide the reader through your argument effectively. Transition phrases between ideas can also improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and articulates a viewpoint on the benefits of free education, which is a central requirement of the task.
task achievement
You present a balanced argument by acknowledging the challenges of implementing free education, which demonstrates critical thinking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifelong education
  • continual learning
  • adapt
  • changing technologies
  • societal norms
  • cognitive function
  • cognitive decline
  • personal development
  • self-improvement
  • formal education
  • navigate
  • emphasis
  • pressure
  • contentment
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