IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recenty traveled somewhere by train, but had several problems during the journey. Write a letter to the traing company. Include: explain the reason for your jouney, describe the problem, say what action you would like the train company to take.

Dear Renfe, I
writte
Correct your spelling
write
this
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 letter to complain about a few problems I faced using one of your facilities. I booked a business class seat on the
train
Use synonyms
 from Madrid to Barcelona and upon arriving one of the workers told me that because of the short
distance
Add a comma
distance,
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 there was no
such
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 thing as
business
Correct article usage
a business
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 or priority seat
that
Correct word choice
and that
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 they were all the same. I explained that on the website in fact they had sold the preferent seats I mentioned for a much higher price.
Consequently
Linking Words
 fifteen minutes into
discussion
Add an article
the discussion
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, the
empoyee
Correct your spelling
employee
 showed me to a normal seat and asked me to conform and stop causing issues for the reason that the
train
Use synonyms
 was about to start its journey. Apart from that, the
train
Use synonyms
 was unpunctual (
tweenty
Correct your spelling
twenty
 minutes late), it had no WIFI service or air conditioner.
Adittionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, I could not submit my work that was fundamental for my work meeting before arriving
to
Change preposition
in
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 Barcelona which caused me trouble at the office.
Furthermore
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, I would like to ask for a
refound
Correct your spelling
refund
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 on my seats and a better treatment from your employees the next time I ride in one of your facilities. To
summerize
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summarise
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this
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 letter, my suggestion would be to note on the website of Renfe that short distances do not count with priority class seats
as well as
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 reminding that the
train
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 does not count with WIFI service or air conditioner for
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 to take into account before booking
.
Correct article usage
an.
show examples
 Thank you, Michelle

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coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing your letter into clearer paragraphs to enhance logical structure. Each paragraph could focus on a specific issue or point you want to make.
task achievement
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar to avoid inaccuracies that could detract from the quality of your writing. For example, 'writte' should be 'write', and 'empoyee' should be 'employee'.
task achievement
You may want to be more specific about the compensation you seek, such as a full refund or a voucher for future travel, to make your request clearer.
task achievement
The letter effectively explains the problems faced during the journey and provides specific examples, which helps illustrate your points.
suitable writing tone
The polite tone and use of 'thank you' at the end of the letter is a positive aspect, reflecting good writing etiquette.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • journey
  • delays
  • safety
  • uncomfortable seating
  • poor service
  • frustration
  • satisfaction
  • compensation
  • refund
  • service standards
  • experience
  • event
  • route
  • meeting
  • staff
  • issues
  • reluctance
  • improvements
What to do next:
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