IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Your friend's dog has recently passed away. Write a letter to console your friend. In your letter: Express your sympathy Include memories you have about the dog Invite your friend to do something with you You do NOT need to write an

Dear
simran
Change the capitalization
Simran
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, I would like to express my deepest
condolenses
Correct your spelling
condolences
 to you and your family.I was heartbroken to hear that your dog '
Use synonyms
oscar
Capitalize word
Oscar
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' has passed yesterday. I remember
those day
Change the determiner
that day
those days
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when I used to visit
at
Change preposition
apply
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your place. One day, you were not
not
Remove the redundancy
apply
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in the town. You requested me to look after
Use synonyms
oscar
Capitalize word
Oscar
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it was really hard for me to stay around
Use synonyms
oscar
Capitalize word
Oscar
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. Later on, we became good
friens
Correct your spelling
friends
 when I took him to the garden and
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 some time
by
Change preposition
apply
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playing with him.
Moreover
Linking Words
, he
also
Linking Words
protect
Wrong verb form
protected
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 me once from wild dogs on the roads. I was so scared at that time, but
Use synonyms
oscar
Capitalize word
Oscar
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 helped me to come out
from
Change preposition
of
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 that situation. I would to invite you
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my house next week. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 break will heal you especially when you spend some time with me. Yours lovingly, Raman

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task achievement
Consider rewriting your introduction to include a more empathetic opening statement. For example, you could say, 'I am so sorry for your loss.' This will help express your sympathy more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check for spelling and grammatical mistakes, such as 'condolenses' which should be 'condolences,' and 'friens' which should be 'friends.' These small errors can impact the overall quality of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which can improve clarity. You might consider splitting the memory and invitation into separate paragraphs.
task achievement
You have effectively shared a personal memory about Oscar, which adds a nice touch to your letter and shows your friendship with the dog.
coherence and cohesion
The affectionate closing 'Yours lovingly' is a nice way to convey your support and care for your friend during this tough time.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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