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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age 5 or 6, right up until age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?

It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 undeniable that young generations do a lot of testing or
examination
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
. Some
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have to do an
exam
Use synonyms
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 1 to 12. Giving a lot of examinations to
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 help them have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
critical thinking. Meanwhile, it
also
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
student
Use synonyms
 tension from
compettion
Correct your spelling
competition
.  On the one hand, the benefits of
examination
Use synonyms
 can make more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
self-discipline to children from
review
Wrong verb form
reviewing
show examples
 the lessons by reading a book before
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
an exams
Correct the article-noun agreement
an exam
exams
show examples
,
moreover
Linking Words
, it can help them make a good memorise. Some students can gain more management
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 from doing the
exam
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as time management during the
examination
Use synonyms
 and thinking management during the
exam
Use synonyms
. The real benefit of testing is critical thinking
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, it
said
Add a missing verb
is said
show examples
 by some people that critical thinking is the key
of
Change preposition
to
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successful
Replace the word
success
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 in every
careers
Change to a singular noun
career
show examples
 because it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 from
carefully
Change the word
careful
show examples
 thinking.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks of
Use synonyms
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
to concern
Verb problem
apply
show examples
for children.
Firstly
Linking Words
, tension from
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 a lot of testing not only from
read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
 a book for
long
Change the article
a long
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 time but
also
Linking Words
 from competition in the classroom.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a frame of thinking
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
, some of them cannot think
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
 of the box
,
Correct word choice
and, therefore
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, have to balance between
Use synonyms
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
 and activities during a term.
Finally
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 might not
happy
Add a missing verb
be happy
show examples
to study
Change preposition
about studying
show examples
 and
against
Correct pronoun usage
against it
show examples
, so, they think it is too much
preasure
Correct your spelling
pressure
 on them. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
show examples
 plus
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
examination
Use synonyms
, too much would be lost
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a result. Maintaining activities should be prioritised to ensure
happiness
Add an article
the happiness
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction to clearly outline the argument and benefits and drawbacks of exams.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-connected and use linking words for better flow.
task achievement
Use varied and precise vocabulary to express ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support points made, enhancing the argument.
content
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages of exams, which shows a balanced view.
content
Some good points about critical thinking and self-discipline are made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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