Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their acheivements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more
people
Use synonyms
think that celebrities are famous because
Their
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of Their
show examples
wealth
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
their
acheivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
,And that will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a bad way.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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i
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I
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comeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and
i
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I
show examples
believe that young
people
Use synonyms
are
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by celebrities. First of all, celebrities are famous for their rich . In fact,they are doing
advertisment
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advertisements
to
encoureged
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encourage
encouraged
people
Use synonyms
to buy something even if
this
Linking Words
thing
is do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not deserve the money which they have to pay.
young
Capitalize word
Young
show examples
people
Use synonyms
spend
a
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their
show examples
whole time on their phones
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
A study published
in
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at
show examples
New York
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
in 2013
concloud
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conclude
concluded
that 90%
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who watch social media are young
people
Use synonyms

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language
Make sure to use proper capitalization for the first letter of each sentence and for proper nouns.
content
Develop your arguments more thoroughly. Add examples and explanations to strengthen your points.
coherence
Use transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making the essay easier to follow.
content
You expressed a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant
  • lifestyle
  • showcase
  • professional accomplishments
  • material wealth
  • talent
  • hard work
  • social media platforms
  • philanthropy
  • misguided standard
  • personal development
  • educational institutions
  • role models
  • integrity
  • community service
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