IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that governments should spend money on public services and facilities rather than on arts, such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argue that governments have to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on public services and others argue that they have to spend it on arts,
such
Linking Words
 as music and painting. I completely agree and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will argue that public facilities are of paramount importance than arts as
this
Linking Words
 involves the health of the community.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 general services are much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 in any country than art and
that is
Linking Words
 because it includes healthcare, education, safety,
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
, etc. That plays a huge role in any
citizen
Change noun form
citizen's
show examples
 life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of people who don't care about any kind of
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
 whether
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
muesems
Correct your spelling
museums
 or concerts, on the grounds that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not their interest at all
hence
Linking Words
 they would prefer the government not
waisting
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on something that they see as a luxury and not
necessity
Add an article
a necessity
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe the benefits of spending
money
Use synonyms
 on public services
outwighs
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 spending it on additional activities and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
 because a lot of people suffer
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 saving
money
Use synonyms
 and paying for their studies or for their
medecins
Correct your spelling
medicine
.

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task achievement
Try to develop your main ideas more fully with examples or explanations. For instance, you could provide specific examples of how public services directly impact people's lives.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that your ideas flow logically from one to another. Use linking words to connect your sentences and paragraphs better, such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'In addition'.
coherence and cohesion
Work on overall grammar and spelling. Ensure correct spelling of words like 'transportation', 'museum', 'wasting', 'outweighs', and 'medicines'.
task achievement
You have a clear position on the topic and convey your opinion effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is recognizable, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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