IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Choosing which subjects to learn is a crucial issue for most university
students
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.
While
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 some
students
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 want to study additional subjects but not only focus on their majors, others don't. In my opinion, I believe that learning extra expertise benefits both
students
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' well-being and their
future
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career
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careers
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. On the one hand,
students
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 who focus on a specific subject can increase their learning efficiency to meet the
requirement
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requirements
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 of their
future
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. To be specific, it is common that individuals spend more than four years
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 a subject in-depth, especially if they are asked for
qualificatons
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qualifications
.
For example
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, to get doctor certificates in Taiwan, most
students
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 in
medical
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the medical
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 field need 8 years
in
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on
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 average to study professional theories and participate
various
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in various
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 internships.
Therefore
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, only
by
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apply
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concentrating on a specific
subjuct
Correct your spelling
subject
 enables them to boost their learning productivity and make the process
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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quickly
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quicker
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, leading to easier
future
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 success.
On the other hand
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, there are some benefits associated with various
subjects
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subject
show examples
 choices.
Firstly
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, when
students
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 are allowed to join other
extracurriculm
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
extra curriculum
 courses, they get the chance to realize their potential and explore their interests that they might have never noticed, which
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 to their
overall
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 well-being.
Moreover
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, it is a trend that most employers nowadays require candidates
be
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to be
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 more versatile. By learning professional knowledge in various industries,
students
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 gain more opportunities to thrive in the
future
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 workplace. In conclusion,
although
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 some might argue that it is wiser to focus on a single subject, I believe that it is advantageous for
students
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 to immerse themselves into different fields, as it not only
allow
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allows
show examples
 them to discover their
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 but
also
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them be competitive in the professional world.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using transition phrases to improve the flow between your ideas, particularly in the paragraphs that discuss the two opposing views.
coherence and cohesion
Double-check for minor spelling errors (e.g., 'subjuct' should be 'subject' and 'extracurriculm' should be 'extracurricular') as they may impact the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both views and provided a clear opinion in your conclusion, which is a strong point in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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