Some university students want to learn about other subjects, in addition to their main subjects. All this believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these wheels and give your own opinion .

Nowadays, some college

students

Use synonyms

want to learn about other

subjects

Use synonyms

in addition

Linking Words

to their major

subjects

Use synonyms

. Others believe that it is more crucial to focus all their

time

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and

attention

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on their qualifications. It is agreed that learning other

subjects

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will give many benefits,

instead

Linking Words

of only their main major.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on the advantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

learning new materials,

such

Linking Words

as they will get broad perspectives.

On the other hand

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, it is

also

Linking Words

important to put priority on your main study since achieving great qualifications is needed in the workplace. The main advantage is kids will get a new perspective through learning new

subjects

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. To illustrate, in Indonesia, many

students

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, who are majoring in science, join finance management classes in their universities. They want to know how to manage their income and their expenses.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

want to know how to do stock investments, bonds , etc.

Therefore

Linking Words

, through

study about

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

other

subjects

Use synonyms

, they will attain new perspectives that will be beneficial in their lives, especially about money.

However

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

needed to give all

time

Use synonyms

attention

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, and energy to learn

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

subject,

due to

Linking Words

the highest qualification is needed to get a better position and company.

For instance

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, many companies in Indonesia require higher GPAs for their new employees.

High

Correct article usage

A high

show examples

GPA is a piece of evidence that

students

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can fulfil all the tasks or

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

given

from

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show examples

their offices.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

important to put priority on your main subject to get the best job.

To sum up

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this

Linking Words

essay agrees that learning about other

subjects

Use synonyms

will give many perspectives,

for instance

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, you know how to manage your daily finances.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, giving all the

time

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and

attention

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also

Linking Words

needed to fulfil the qualifications in the work industry.

Therefore

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, as

students

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, we have to manage our

time

Use synonyms

attention

Use synonyms

, and energy to do both of them.

ziziTue May 06 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas can be improved. Make sure each paragraph logically connects to the next for better cohesion.

task achievement

You made a valid point about the importance of learning other subjects, but you could elaborate more on why focusing solely on qualifications might be disadvantageous. Providing more nuanced arguments will strengthen your response.

lexical resource

Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and varying your sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and can help improve your overall score.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which shows your critical thinking skills—this is a strong point in your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects, in addition to their main subjects. All this believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these wheels and give your own opinion .

Your opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's world, technology plays a significant role in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using technology in classrooms.

It is clear that the invention of the internet has led to dramatic changes in the way information is distributed and accessed. This essay will explore two of the problems which have resulted from these changes and propose measures which might address them.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Many shopping malls have been built in different countries all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for the local people?