IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is difficult to do. What is the problem associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?

These days ,it is becoming increasingly complicated for
people
Use synonyms
 to take
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 between personal and office
life
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.
One
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 of the reasons is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is often associated with financial difficulties and
luxury
Correct article usage
a luxury
show examples
 lifestyle. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem
people
Use synonyms
 should organize their
time
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 wisely. On the
one
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 hand, many
people
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 in order to feed their family have to
work
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 in two, even three jobs at the
one
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time
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, in many countries’ poverty can be the main issue, like Africa or Suria and it is
infinitive
Add an article
an infinitive
show examples
 way for men to achieve
luxury
Replace the word
a luxurious
show examples
life
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. As an example, in
Africa
Add a comma
Africa,
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 they have to
work
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 from
young
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a young
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 age which does not give them
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to live as a typical person. When it comes to developed nations, it may be just obsession
try
Fix the infinitive
to try
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 to reach their dream faster and
pursued
Change the form of the verb
pursue
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
happiness.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they might often forget about their family members and find the
time
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 for social
life
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.
Use synonyms
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand,
due to
Linking Words
 high pressure and countless
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 they need to
work
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 hard. They need to find
convenient
Add an article
the convenient
a convenient
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 schedule and make plans in advance.
Instead
Linking Words
 of tracing luxury
life
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 they just need to take
time
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 for their family and
work
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similarly
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, prioritize tasks and use
time
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 management. Set clear goals and focus on
high impact
Add a hyphen
high-impact
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 or use apps or planners can help organize their
time
Use synonyms
. Given that, if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 can find even
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 chance
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 support from other
people
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, It would be better to stay active
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both sides. In conclusion, Despite
hardships
Correct article usage
the hardships
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 which
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 face daily, they definitely may find
strength
Correct article usage
the strength
show examples
 how to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 with family.

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task achievement
Try to provide clearer examples to illustrate your points more effectively. The examples mentioned could be explained in more detail to show how they relate to the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next, to enhance overall coherence. Using linking words more effectively would help with this.
coherence and cohesion
Consider revising the grammar and sentence structure for clarity, especially regarding verb agreement and prepositions.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and presents the problem well, which sets a good foundation for your essay.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both sides of the issue, which shows an understanding of the complexities involved in achieving work-life balance.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress management
  • personal fulfillment
  • workplace demands
  • tech-savvy
  • disconnect
  • boundaries
  • prioritization
  • time management
  • mental well-being
  • societal pressures
  • flexible working hours
  • job satisfaction
  • self-care
What to do next:
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