IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The depicted and colorful map demonstrates crucial alterations in the city of Stromer between 1995 and current time.

The depicted and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
 map demonstrates crucial alterations in the city of Stromer between 1995 and
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 time.
Priliminary
Correct your spelling
Preliminary
, the shown field is
urban
Correct article usage
an urban
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 because of its shops,apartments and airport landscape.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is
crystally
Rephrase
vitally
show examples
 clear that there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of renovations which
are
Verb problem
have been
show examples
 done over the years.There
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
a big green
area
Use synonyms
 and farmland in 1995 but now the sizes of green
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and farmland
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
decreased approximately by 4 times.The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 is lessened and moved from
green
Correct article usage
the green
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 to
east
Correct article usage
the east
show examples
 of town.When it comes to farmland ,
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
 stayed stable ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 rest of
Use synonyms
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
 is converted into three shops,four apartments and houses.The biggest innovation is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the construction of
airport
Correct article usage
an airport
show examples
 so that in the
north east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
 of town ,there is a new airport
area
Use synonyms
.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,it is obvious that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 just one shop in 1995,but in the present time ,another four shops are erected in the centre of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Try to improve the clarity of your introduction. Consider rephrasing the first sentence to make it more direct, such as 'The map illustrates the significant changes that have occurred in the city of Stromer from 1995 to the present.'
coherence
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your points. This will help improve the overall structure of your essay.
coherence
In your conclusion, summarize the key changes more succinctly. A brief restatement of the main alterations would enhance the clarity of your response.
task achievement
Work on grammar and spelling. There are several minor inaccuracies, such as 'Priliminary' instead of 'Preliminary' and 'crystally' instead of 'crystal clear.' Proofreading your work can help avoid such mistakes.
task achievement
Add more specific details for stronger examples. For instance, you mention 'the rest of the area is converted into three shops, four apartments and houses.' Specify how these spaces contribute to the urban area or community.
positive
You used a range of vocabulary, which is commendable. Phrases like 'plethora of renovations' and 'green area and farmland' demonstrate your ability to use descriptive language.
positive
Your essay successfully outlines the major changes in Stromer, providing a clear sense of what has transformed over the years.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: