IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is often said that government project too much money on wildlife projects, while there are many other problems .to what extent do you agree or disagree

It is argued that
authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 usually spend more budget on wildlife services, in
mean
Correct your spelling
meanwhile
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while
Linking Words
 there are more important other
socital
Correct your spelling
social
societal
 issues.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because supporting human needs is more essential
and
Correct word choice
than
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 other life aspects. It must be acknowledged that citizens
need
Wrong verb form
have needed
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 much more subsidization in the
last
Linking Words
 decades,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 after
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 attack
few
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a few
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 years ago. The crises during
quarantine
Correct article usage
the quarantine
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 era generated an
enourmous
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enormous
lose
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loss
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for
Change preposition
of
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 jobs, employees were unable to
maitain
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maintain
 a sustainable income, in another words companies
closure
Fix the agreement mistake
closures
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 led to salaries cut-down,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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no
Add a missing verb
were no
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 longer able to purchase goods to feed their families.
For example
Linking Words
, a study conducted at KFU
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 illustrated that 60% of employees had lost their jobs in 2020 and a rise in
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 arrow
had
Verb problem
was
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 present.
Thus
Linking Words
, cities must
adresse
Correct your spelling
address
 the critical
socital
Correct your spelling
social
societal
 issues, rather than animal
conervation
Correct your spelling
conservation
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Another
parts
Replace the adjective
part
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that is
Linking Words
 more significant than allocating expenditures on natural habitats is the health and education sectors. The fact that Coronavirus affected
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health must be integral, resources must be allocated toward health benefits.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, A society must foster
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 community with a solid educational system, education is
key
Add an article
a key
the key
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 element for development that stimulates the economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, several
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
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 families are not able to provide their children with proper school supplies and government subsidies should be comprehensive to them. The financial investment
on
Change preposition
in
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 the next generation will provide countries
a
Add the preposition
with a
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powerful
infrasturcture
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infrastructure
 for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future. In conclusion, though animal preservation is beneficial, the enhancement of
socital
Correct your spelling
social
societal
 well-being is more crucial.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument and follow a logical order to improve coherence.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to enhance the essay's overall quality and clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and provides supporting arguments related to the topic.
coherence
The introduction effectively states the writer's position on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainability
  • conservation
  • investment
  • urgent societal issues
  • holistic approach
  • public awareness
  • indirect benefits
  • economic stability
  • tourism revenue
  • sustainable livelihoods
  • responsibility
  • collaboration
What to do next:
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