IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recently moved to another city but your bank has your old address and continues to send all the communication there. Write a letter to your bank Branch. In this letter mention: -Where you have moved? -What problem are you facing regarding the bank's communication? -What do you want them to do regarding old communication already sent to the wrong address

Dear Manager, I hope you find
this
Linking Words
 letter in radiant health. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you that I have moved to Toronto because I got a job here in a Construction firm. I moved here
last
Linking Words
Month
Fix capitalization
month
show examples
 only and I want to change
Use synonyms
address
Add an article
the address
show examples
 on my bank account. I already tried to do so on my
netbanking
Correct your spelling
net banking
 but it was
undermaintenance
Correct your spelling
under maintenance
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 2 weeks. I tried to call
bank
Correct article usage
the bank
show examples
reagrding
Correct your spelling
regarding
this
Linking Words
 problem but they are not able to change the
address
Use synonyms
 without your permission over the phone. Actually, I had applied for a new credit card but it was delivered to my old
address
Use synonyms
. If you can order a new credit to
this
Linking Words
address
Use synonyms
 918 Nokomis Place, Toronto.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the card that been delivered to my old
address
Use synonyms
 can you able to terminate it
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I will be waiting for your response. Thank you Yours Faithfully Sam

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tone
Make sure to use a more formal tone, such as 'I hope this letter finds you well' instead of 'I hope you find this letter in radiant health.'
structure
Consider aligning your paragraphs to one idea each to enhance clarity, particularly separating issues related to the address change and the credit card problem.
clarity
When referencing the actions you would like the bank to take, ensure clarity and add transitions to ensure smooth flow.
content
You clearly stated your new address and the reason for the change, which is essential information for the bank.
tone
Overall, your closing line and signature were polite and appropriate for a formal letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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