Media coverage of violent crime frightens people and encourages criminals. Some people say it should be banned from newspapers and TV programmes. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Beka
The
number of Correct article usage
A
people
believe that the press coverage of mass crimes Use synonyms
scare
Correct subject-verb agreement
scares
people
and leads Use synonyms
criminals
to Use synonyms
do
crimes, so they think it should be banned. I strongly disagree with Verb problem
commit
this
statement, because Linking Words
people
need to know Use synonyms
criminals
Use synonyms
to
their safety and implement preventive measures.
Change preposition
for
Although
Linking Words
people
start to be afraid after watching Use synonyms
such
programs about Linking Words
criminals
and criminology in general, Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
people
should know the Use synonyms
criminals
by sight and should know what will happen if Use synonyms
you
start a crime. Correct pronoun usage
they
This
helps Linking Words
people
to beware of Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
criminals
. Use synonyms
People
should be aware of what is happening in their city or country, they have the right to know it. Since many Use synonyms
people
do not see what is happening in the criminal world, they lead a carefree lifestyle and are not careful with themselves. Use synonyms
This
should not happen for their own safety. Linking Words
For example
, I have a friend who went out for a walk in the evening without watching the news, and that day they showed that a criminal group was operating in our area. He ran into them, but everything worked out. But it could have been that they would have done something to him. Linking Words
Therefore
, it is important to be aware of events.
Linking Words
Also
, thanks to the exposure of Linking Words
criminals
to the masses, Use synonyms
people
can take measures to protect themselves from Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
people
. They will have time to prepare for the worst. Because if criminal groups operate near their place of residence, they must be careful. Because you never know what they can do to you or your loved ones. Use synonyms
For example
, my uncle in the 90s with his family watched a program about Linking Words
criminals
who pick locks and rob apartments. That same day they installed new locks, and the next day it turned out that their neighbor had been robbed.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
this
essay completely disagrees with the idea that Linking Words
criminals
should not be publicly exposed because all Use synonyms
people
have the right to know about the danger and take timely safety measures.Use synonyms
ansa13
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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding more transitional phrases to improve flow between paragraphs and ideas. For instance, use 'Moreover', 'Additionally', or 'On the other hand' to connect points more smoothly.
task achievement
Work on strengthening topic sentences in each paragraph to ensure that the main point is clear from the beginning. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples or statistics to bolster your arguments. This can help to provide a clearer picture and make your case more compelling.
task achievement
You clearly articulated your disagreement with the statement and supported your position with personal examples, which adds a relatable touch to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. You effectively summarized your viewpoint in the conclusion, reinforcing your position.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite