Media coverage of violent crime frightens people and encourages criminals. Some people say it should be banned from newspapers and TV programmes. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Beka

The
Correct article usage
A
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number of
people
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believe that the press coverage of mass crimes
scare
Correct subject-verb agreement
scares
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people
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and leads
criminals
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to
do
Verb problem
commit
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crimes, so they think it should be banned. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement, because
people
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need to know
criminals
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to
Change preposition
for
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their safety and implement preventive measures.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
start to be afraid after watching
such
Linking Words
programs about
criminals
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and criminology in general,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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people
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should know the
criminals
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by sight and should know what will happen if
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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start a crime.
This
Linking Words
helps
people
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to beware of
such
Linking Words
criminals
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.
People
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should be aware of what is happening in their city or country, they have the right to know it. Since many
people
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do not see what is happening in the criminal world, they lead a carefree lifestyle and are not careful with themselves.
This
Linking Words
should not happen for their own safety.
For example
Linking Words
, I have a friend who went out for a walk in the evening without watching the news, and that day they showed that a criminal group was operating in our area. He ran into them, but everything worked out. But it could have been that they would have done something to him.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to be aware of events.
Also
Linking Words
, thanks to the exposure of
criminals
Use synonyms
to the masses,
people
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can take measures to protect themselves from
such
Linking Words
people
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. They will have time to prepare for the worst. Because if criminal groups operate near their place of residence, they must be careful. Because you never know what they can do to you or your loved ones.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle in the 90s with his family watched a program about
criminals
Use synonyms
who pick locks and rob apartments. That same day they installed new locks, and the next day it turned out that their neighbor had been robbed. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
essay completely disagrees with the idea that
criminals
Use synonyms
should not be publicly exposed because all
people
Use synonyms
have the right to know about the danger and take timely safety measures.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding more transitional phrases to improve flow between paragraphs and ideas. For instance, use 'Moreover', 'Additionally', or 'On the other hand' to connect points more smoothly.
task achievement
Work on strengthening topic sentences in each paragraph to ensure that the main point is clear from the beginning. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples or statistics to bolster your arguments. This can help to provide a clearer picture and make your case more compelling.
task achievement
You clearly articulated your disagreement with the statement and supported your position with personal examples, which adds a relatable touch to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. You effectively summarized your viewpoint in the conclusion, reinforcing your position.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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