IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government should pay for healthcare and education , but others it is not the government is responsibility.

There's an ongoing debate about whether the government should provide free fitness alarms and study.
While
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 some individuals should take responsibility for their own needs, others believe that these convocations are fundamental rights and should be funded by the state.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and my own opinion. On one hand, those who oppose government-funded fitness load and scholarship often argue that
such
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 kickoff places a heavy financial burden on the state.
In addition
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, some argue that private dawning promotes competition and efficiency leading to higher-quality outcomes . Moving on to the next reason many people believe that access to hardihood responsibility and discipline should not depend on
Correct article usage
an individuals
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individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
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income. fitness load and culture are essential to a person's well-being and opportunities in life. If only those who can afford
this
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 convocation receive them, it creates inequality and social injustice. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe that individuals should bear the cost of their own learning and energy bother, I strongly believe that the government has a responsibility to provide these essential graduations for the betterment of society as a whole .

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Task Achievement
Clarify your argument in the introduction, specifying your stance clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus, and use topic sentences effectively to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or case studies to support your claims.
Task Achievement
You effectively introduced the topic and presented both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay shows good organization, with distinct paragraphs that address different aspects of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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