IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The main question that faces today is government is creating fully satisfactory housing for their upward populations
alongside
Change preposition
while
show examples
consequencently
Correct your spelling
consequently
 trying
Fix the infinitive
to safe
show examples
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 and protect the environment.
However
Linking Words
, these days is important to find
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between these
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 questions that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 and
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 essential
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. One of the main
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 of the problem is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
finding
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right type of construction or projects that will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fully
analysed
Wrong verb form
analyse
show examples
 all aspects of building houses . One clear example is hoses located in Delhi , India . The living houses in
this
Linking Words
 city
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 like sticks with each other
here
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
no
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
 place for
breathe
Wrong verb form
breathing
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 or air .
In addition
Linking Words
according to
Linking Words
location
Add an article
the location
show examples
 of
houses
Correct article usage
the houses
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 the cleaning will be tough or simply living
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 those
house
Change the determiner
houses
show examples
 be difficult .Because of the increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population architectures should think
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
 we should build apartments that will be able to include them and give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good quality of living .
However
Linking Words
 ,
this
Linking Words
 kind of work is still open . The other question is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how we can
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 and protect the environment around us
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Linking Words
This all
Correct pronoun usage
All
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 specialised for our living have
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Add an article
an environment
the environment
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 that surrounds us and give us
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
needs
Correct pronoun usage
our needs
show examples
 and goods for our daily lives. We destroy their
naturally
Change the word
natural
show examples
 being
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 polluting their soil
through
Change preposition
with
show examples
 plastic waste from toilets is
also
Linking Words
 ruining their fertility. Having weighed
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
 I come to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 conclusion that we should analyze what kind
result
Change preposition
of result
show examples
 will have our decision .Work together alongside
With
Change preposition
As
show examples
 nature
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provides us
Change preposition
with goods
show examples
goods
Add a comma
goods,
show examples
 we
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 from him .

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer organization. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one to the next. Consider using clear topic sentences and linking words to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Expand on your points more thoroughly. For example, when discussing the impact of housing on living conditions, provide more specific examples or statistics to support your statements.
coherence and cohesion
Revise for grammatical accuracy and clarity. There are several sentences that are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors. A thorough proofread or using simpler sentences could improve clarity.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided a personal opinion, which is essential in a discussion essay.
task achievement
Your intention to discuss the balance between housing development and environmental protection is a relevant and timely topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • restorative justice
  • vocational training
  • root causes
  • accountability
  • substance abuse
  • integrate back into society
  • mental health care
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