IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, some
companies
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tend
Wrong verb form
have tended
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 to emphasize the innovation of their
products
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. The main reason
of
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for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is that
companies
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 need to make their
products
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 more attractive to promote selling, and I believe that it is a positive development. One viable reason
of
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for
show examples
this
Linking Words
trend
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 is that
companies
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 need to ensure that their
products
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 can stand out. To be specific, implementing marketing strategies
such
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 as claiming innovative
fuctions
Correct your spelling
functions
 or creativity of their latest
products
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, allowing their goods to be special. The strategy stimulates the willingness of consumers to purchase up-to-date items only to follow the
trend
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 and eventually increase
companies
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' revenue.
For example
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, some clothing
companies
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 always claim that their designs are unique and on top of the
trend
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 to attract consumers who are into
fasion
Correct your spelling
fashion
.
This
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trend
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 of claiming the
products
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 are new can lead to various positive
development
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developments
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.
Firstly
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, it allows consumers to gain access to the
products
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 that satisfy their needs, which makes their lives convenient.
For example
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, people who suffer from health issues can easily discover the newest supplement that can be beneficial to their well-being after seeing the latest advertisements.
Moreover
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,
this
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trend
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also
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enable
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enables
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 the whole market to be competitive, since
componies
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companies
 will always need to stay creative to survive and create profits. It ultimately contributes to the
overall
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economy
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economic
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 growth of the society. In conclusion, I believe the primary reason
of
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for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is that
companies
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 are eager to make their
products
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apppealing
Correct your spelling
appealing
, and the strategy is positive since it can make
people
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people's
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 lives easier and
boosts
Correct subject-verb agreement
boost
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 the national economy.

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task achievement
The introduction could be improved by clearly stating the two parts of the task more explicitly. Consider mentioning both the reasons for companies emphasizing innovation and whether you view it as positive or negative in separate sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor spelling errors, such as 'functions,' 'fashion,' and 'appealing.' This will enhance your credibility and overall quality of writing.
coherence and cohesion
In the body paragraphs, try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words to show relationships between ideas, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is a critical aspect of task achievement.
task achievement
Examples used, such as the clothing companies and health supplements, are relevant and help support your arguments well.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay presents a logical progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of thought.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
What to do next:
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