IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being to replace in the workplace. Why is thi happening ? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society ?

In an ever-progressive society, the invention of
robots
Use synonyms
 and artificial
intelligence
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 have helped many companies in working. The writer believes that the
Correct your spelling
replacement
replacment
Correct your spelling
replacement
 happens
due to
Linking Words
 high productivity, and it can be
a
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an
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 advantageous influence in our community One reason
of
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apply
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the technology can be
add
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added
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in
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to
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 the workplace is
create
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to create
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 more
product
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products
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 for customers.
This
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 is because
robots
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combine
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combined
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 with artificial
intelligence
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 will lead to
an automatic systems
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an automatic system
automatic systems
show examples
 which is programmed availably. With
this
Linking Words
 function of the system, it will work highly productivity than
human
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a human
the human
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 who
is often distract
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is often distracted
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 by short talking with colleagues and rest time. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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 consequence, numerous entrepreneurs
aware
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are aware
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 of the potential of
robots
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 and AI and generally bring
automatic
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the automatic
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machine
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machines
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 into their
process
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processes
show examples
, It can be noted that the appearance of
robots
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 and
intelligence
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 artificial brings a lot of merits
into
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to
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 our society.
Firstly
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, many young individuals have opportunities to
expose
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be exposed
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 to knowledge by communicating with artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 in smart devices.
This
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 can boost our motivation in order to talk with
robots
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.
Secondly
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, it definitely assists adults in dealing with some
trouble
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troubling
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 situations in daily life via
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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.
As a consequence
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, people can understand their
mistake
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mistakes
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 and make an effort for the next time. In conclusion,
robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 are
adding
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added
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into
Change preposition
to
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 some factories because of their function and ability to have higher productivity.
Although
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 there
are able to have
Wrong verb form
may be
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 unexpected risks in future, I still appreciate
a
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the
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 range of benefits affecting
to
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apply
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our community.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the main idea, but it could be enhanced by providing a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences contain grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Revising these will improve clarity. For example, 'the replacment happens due to high productivity' could be better phrased as 'the replacement is happening due to the increased productivity that robots offer.'
task achievement
You present a relevant argument about the benefits of robots and AI, touching on increased productivity, which is a central aspect of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay includes points about the potential educational impact of AI, which is a unique angle that adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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