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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two pie charts illustrate the proposition of five types of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005

The two pie charts illustrate the proposition of five types of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005
The two pie charts show the distribution of five types of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in France between 1995 and 2005. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it's clear from the graph that coal has increased steadily as a source of
energy
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, gas and other types of power
production
Use synonyms
, including nuclear, displayed an upward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
production
Use synonyms
 share of oil decreased significantly during the period.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
energy
Use synonyms
 produced by coal increased slightly from 29.8% in 1995 to around 30.8% in 2005. For gas, the percentage rose from 29.63% in 1995 to approximately 30.63% in 2005.
Conversely
Linking Words
, oil saw a massive drop from 29.27% in 1995 to 19.55% in 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
production
Use synonyms
 remained constant at 4.9% for a decade,
then
Linking Words
 jumped significantly to 9.1%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
energy
Use synonyms
 produced from nuclear sources saw a slight increase from 6.4% in 1995 to 10.1% in 2005.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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