IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Your child’s school is organizing a week-long overseas trip, and the principal is looking for parents to join as volunteers. Write a letter to express your interest In your letter, you should: Explain why you would like to join the trip. Ask some general questions about the trip. Describe how you can contribute to the trip as a parent.

Dear sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my interest as a
volunteers
Correct the article-noun agreement
volunteer
show examples
for a week-long overseas trip, which is going to be held
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 summer from
2nd
Correct article usage
the 2nd
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 of July to
8th
Correct article usage
the 8th
show examples
 of July 2025 . First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 I would like to tell you that I am
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 mother of My daughter Aashi
shah
Capitalize word
Shah
show examples
 from class 8th A who is studying in your School.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
 all parents have a dream to go
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 international tour with their kids and make memorable movements but, I suppose that I am the luckiest one to make my dreams come true with your
respects
Fix the agreement mistake
respect
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,I would like to know something about the tour like 1) How we all are going to book our Tickets?2)How many students and staff are included in the trip? 3)what are the arrangements of food and stay?
However
Linking Words
,I am running
big
Add an article
a big
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 chain of tours and
travells
Correct your spelling
travels
travel
 so by
this
Linking Words
 I can arrange big compensation for all
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
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 facilities asked
above
Change preposition
for above
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 and among all ,I can guide you all each and every Historical
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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 in Europe Looking forward to
hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
 positive replies from you
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Ami shah

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coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking up longer sentences to improve clarity. For example, the sentence about being a mother could be simplified for better understanding.
task achievement
Make sure to address the principal properly in the greeting to maintain a formal tone.
task achievement
Include a closing statement that expresses gratitude or anticipation for a response, to enhance the tone of the letter.
task achievement
Your enthusiasm for joining the trip is wonderfully expressed and adds a personal touch to your letter.
coherence and cohesion
You provided relevant questions that show your genuine interest in the trip's details.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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