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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s digital age, as the number of users of the internet has surged, individuals rely on social
media
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platforms
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 to find their
news
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.
While
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 there may be some
advantages
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with
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to
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reliance
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 on social
media
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platforms
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 for
news
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, it is more likely to have disadvantages. On the one hand, it is true that
reliance
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 on social
media
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platforms
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 for
news
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 carries some
advantages
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.
Firstly
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,
this
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reliance
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 could enhance the convenience of access to
news
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.
This
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 is because people can use social
media
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 on smartphones wherever they are.
Thus
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, they can check the
news
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 anywhere.
Secondly
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,
this
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reliance
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 would reduce the cost of
media
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 compared with other
media
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: TV and newspapers. Notably, the writer can spread the
news
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 only by posting the article on social
media
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, which has less workload than other
media
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.
On the other hand
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, the disadvantages of
reliance
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 on social
media
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platforms
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 for
news
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 should be considered.
Firstly
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, people could be misjudged because of incorrect information on social
media
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. There is some wrong information, like fake
news
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 on social
media
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, so it is difficult to distinguish which information is accurate.
Secondly
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, employees who work in newspapers and TV companies might lose their jobs when the use of social
media
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platforms
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 increases,
instead
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 of watching TV and reading newspapers. In detail, the demand for other
media
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 might decrease, which could affect the employment of those companies. In conclusion, the disadvantages of
reliance
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 on social
media
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platforms
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 for
news
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 outweigh the
advantages
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, because
while
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 there are some
advantages
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 in the short term, the drawbacks may persist in the long term.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-developed with clear topic sentences. This will help improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which adequately frame your argument.
content
You identified both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible information
  • breaking news
  • real-time updates
  • informed society
  • global connectivity
  • diverse perspectives
  • critical thinking
  • comprehensive understanding
  • rapid dissemination
  • timely updates
  • emergencies
  • urgent situations
  • spread of misinformation
  • fake news
  • unverified information
  • professional journalism standards
  • biased reporting
  • poorly-researched news
  • echo chambers
  • confirmation bias
  • algorithms
  • narrow viewpoint
  • differing perspectives
What to do next:
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