The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
The pie chart illustrates the location of various
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
young
Australians
Use synonyms
in a town are currently attending,
while
Linking Words
the bar charts
compares
Change the verb form
compare
show examples
different types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
they participate
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Overall
Linking Words
, private
studios
Use synonyms
are the most prevalent choice for young
Australians
Use synonyms
to learn to
dance
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
college-based
studios
Use synonyms
are the least. Meanwhile, most
Australians
Use synonyms
under 11 choose to learn ballet and those who are between 11 and 16 prefer modern. Regarding the location of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
for young
Australians
Use synonyms
to attend, private
studios
Use synonyms
have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
largest share at 48%,
narrowing
Replace the word
narrowly
show examples
surpassing school halls at 24%. Only 18% of young
Australians
Use synonyms
choose to learn in community halls and others,
while
Linking Words
those
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
to learn in college-based
studios
Use synonyms
are the least at a mere 10%. In terms of types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
that the young people in Australia
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
, almost 600 of them are learning ballet, followed by tap which is learned by approximately 450 students and modern at around 300.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, more than 500 students between 11 and 16 learn modern,
while
Linking Words
420 of them learn tap. Less than 300 young
Australians
Use synonyms
choose to learn ballet.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, australians, studios with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: