Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities.What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

In recent years, the number of students leaving rural

areas

Use synonyms

to study or work in

cities

Use synonyms

has increased

due to

Linking Words

the greater number of opportunities available in urban

areas

Use synonyms

compared to the countryside.

This

Linking Words

essay will elucidate both the reasons and the consequences of

this

Linking Words

trend. It is evident that there are practically no opportunities in rural

areas

Use synonyms

, people often either become farmers or take on other low-income jobs.

This

Linking Words

issue arises from the lack of investments from the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

. The authorities tend to fund

cities

Use synonyms

more than

Correct article usage

the countrysides

show examples

countrysides

Fix the agreement mistake

countryside

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are many problems with infrastructure in rural

areas

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

of that, many youngsters prefer to leave their homes and go study in the

cities

Use synonyms

pursuing a better life.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend negatively affects the employment rate in rural

areas

Use synonyms

because there are few people left who want to work there. Because of

decreasing

Correct article usage

the decreasing

show examples

amount of sitizens small rural

areas

Use synonyms

are in danger of termination. There are some solutions that can help resolve

this

Linking Words

problem.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

needs to prioritize

Correct article usage

the countrysides

show examples

countrysides

Fix the agreement mistake

countryside

show examples

when it comes

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

investments.

This

Linking Words

will resolve the problem with infrastructure and draw people in rural

areas

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, after establishing a special program where the Swedish government funded rural

areas

Use synonyms

more than

cities

Use synonyms

, Sweden's annual income increased by 40%.

Secondly

Linking Words

, authorities should increase

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

of specialist

exchanging

Wrong verb form

exchange

show examples

programs for rural

areas

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

will help improve the low employment rate in rural

areas

Use synonyms

, as specialists from all around the country will be sent to work there. In conclusion, it is obvious that

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

this

Linking Words

trend are too severe to be exceeded by advantages.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I presented solutions for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon

ken658301Fri May 09 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline the essay's focus more explicitly.

coherence and cohesion

Consider breaking some longer sentences into shorter ones for improved clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure to proofread for minor spelling errors – e.g., 'goverment' should be 'government' and 'sitizens' should be 'citizens'.

task achievement

In your examples, try to explain how the solutions would particularly benefit rural areas to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay effectively identifies key reasons for young people leaving rural areas, indicating a clear understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your proposed solutions reflect a thoughtful approach to addressing the issue, which adds depth to your analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities.What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? J

In some counties, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.