IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one's experience, it also presents the danger of negative influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Getting degrees from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international countries not only boosts the experience of
an individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
individuals
an individual
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
open
Wrong verb form
opens
show examples
 doors to numerous opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, there might be some challenges
such
Linking Words
 as
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 culture by which people can
get
Verb problem
be
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 affected. I agree with the statement
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to some extent. I believe that studying abroad offers
chance
Add an article
the chance
a chance
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 to attain knowledge and experience from other cultures too. On the one hand , attaining higher education from abroad plays a crucial role in getting lucrative jobs as the
way
Use synonyms
 of teaching in foreign countries is quite different because they focus their learners to indulge in practical knowledge
instead
Linking Words
 of focusing solely on academic ones. Moving
further
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend offers individuals to learn more about other cultures in
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 people can easily
settled
Change the verb form
settle
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 themselves in those nations. To demonstrate, higher numbers of
students
Use synonyms
 from India came
Change preposition
to canada
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canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
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 and America to get higher education from the
well renowned
Add a hyphen
well-renowned
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 institutions in
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 they mix up with the local
students
Use synonyms
 and interact with different backgrounds.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there might be some drawbacks too because when
students
Use synonyms
 move from their home country they have to face lots of challenges as there is no one with them to look after and they get separated from their loved ones.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
add
Replace the word
addition
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this
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 suffer from homesickness and
emotionally
Change the word
emotional
show examples
 breakdown and
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 they easily get influenced by their peer groups
and
Correct word choice
apply
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under their guidance they indulge themselves
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 crimes,
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 narcotic substances and so on.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they got fascinated towards
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 culture and
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 separated from their own roots. In conclusion, I believe that attaining higher education from foreign countries has enormous benefits that become fruitful in later years of life but there are some drawbacks that cannot be fully neglected. I agree

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas by using more linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate and explain your main points more thoroughly to enhance clarity and depth.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, such as students from India studying in Canada and America.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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