IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In
this
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 modern world, many individuals tend to have their own
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 rather than work in corporations.
This
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 essay will discuss the roots of
this
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 trend
,
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apply
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 and the drawbacks of running own
business
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. One of the main reasons people choose to run their own company is burnout. It seems that in terms of having an ideal career path in big
companies
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, employees often put a lot of effort
in
Change preposition
into
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 work.
This
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 situation can cause exhaustion since they do not have time to rest.
For example
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, junior employees often stay up late to reach the deadline, making them only have a few hours of sleep. Another reason is health.
this
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 issue often
happen
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happens
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 to newcomers in
industry
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the industry
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, where they are forced to achieve
companies
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’ goals, leading them
careless
Wrong verb form
to care
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 about their personal condition. 
However
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, these factors are not often considered as a good choice since it
also
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 has its drawbacks. One of the disadvantages is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of budget. Many start-up
companies
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 often struggle to maintain their
companies
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 because of financial issues. A good example of
this
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 is food
companies
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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 a certain amount of money to buy kitchen appliances
such
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 as
oven
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ovens
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, or microwaves.
In addition
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 to financial, lack of experience in risk management often failed the
business
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. In many parts of the world, many private businesses are built without learning about how to tackle problems.
This
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 is important because by having knowledge about risk, people can learn how to mitigate the problems.
Moreover
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, only those who have work experience can detect all the risks that might happen to the
companies
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.  In conclusion, burnout and health issues are often considered as two main factors of people choosing to start their own
companies
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.
However
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, without paying attention to the budget and learning about risk management, their own
business
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 could experience severe consequences, often leading to failure.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points; it makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas in your paragraphs and improve flow.
task achievement
You clearly identified the reasons for self-employment and its drawbacks.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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