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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, a lot of countries exploit alternative sources of energy instead of fossil fuels. I contemplate that this is a beneficial strategy in terms of environmental, economic and technological views.

Nowadays, a lot of countries exploit
alternative
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sources
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 of
energy
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instead
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 of fossil fuels. I contemplate that
this
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 is a beneficial strategy in terms of environmental, economic and technological views.
Firstly
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, using renewable
resources
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 can gain benefits in regard to the environment.
Energy
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sources
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 like solar and wind power produce little to no greenhouse gas emissions, which are the primary drivers of climate change. Burning fossil fuels releases pollutants that cause respiratory problems and other health issues.
In contrast
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,
alternative
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resources
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 help improve air quality as they are eco-friendly and do not contribute to air pollution.
As a result
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, it can help communities avoid some health issues.
Moreover
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, these are renewable
resources
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 meaning that they are not finite like coal or oil.
Consequently
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, they can ensure a long-term
energy
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 supply for human beings.
Secondly
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, substitute
sources
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 can bring advantages to the economic sphere. The cost of producing solar and wind power is cheaper than that of nonrenewable power.
Furthermore
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, the development and deployment of new
sources
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 of
energy
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 can create more jobs in the installation, maintenance and research process.
As a consequence
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, it can help increase economic value for the community.
Thirdly
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, the usage of renewable powers marks the positive advancements of technology. The pursuit of
alternative
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energy
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sources
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 drives innovation and technological development. It boosts scientists to come up with more efficient and cost-effective
energy
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. In conclusion, I agree with the fact that
alternative
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resources
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 bring a lot of benefits and they should be encouraged to be deployed more in the future.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on specific examples of renewable energy technologies or projects to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between points to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main ideas in the introduction to guide the reader throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and acknowledges the benefits of alternative energy sources.
coherence and cohesion
It has well-defined paragraphs that address separate aspects of the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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