IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some
scines
Correct your spelling
scenes
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
 that children should
Linking Words
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
begin a
foreginer
Correct your spelling
foreign
foreigner
language
Use synonyms
 at primary schools
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of secondary
school
Use synonyms
. From
this
Linking Words
idea
Add a comma
idea,
show examples
 we can
be seen
Wrong verb form
see
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 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it has several benefits for children
such
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 as their brain works in a double
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the other ones.
That
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
means
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 their brain can start thinking in
both
Use synonyms
languages
Use synonyms
, their mother
language
Use synonyms
 and
another ones
Replace the adjective
another one
other ones
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
school
Use synonyms
 they can learn
another
Replace the adjective
another language
other languages
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
 like
germany
Correct your spelling
German
 or
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 takes them time to
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
learn
 other skills or
languages
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they can find some jobs with international companies in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 and among
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 peers they can support
themseves
Correct your spelling
themselves
 with
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 and can learn
investing
Change the verb form
to invest
show examples
 fast
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 others. If it comes to
disadnatges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
, it would be
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
 little bit
to
Correct word choice
difficult to
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using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
both
Use synonyms
languages
Use synonyms
 and they can not speak a
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
language
Use synonyms
 clearly. If it comes to the former, throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
school
Use synonyms
 their lessons can
expend
Correct your spelling
expand
show examples
 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 would not be a
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time to
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 some games and focus
just
Change preposition
on just
show examples
 one major. Resulting
children
Change preposition
in children
show examples
coud
Correct your spelling
could
 be
sressful
Correct your spelling
stressful
successful
 in the future. If it comes to the
leter
Correct your spelling
letter
later
, during the speaking they can use
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
languages
Change noun form
language's
languages'
show examples
vocablories
Correct your spelling
vocabularies
such
Linking Words
 as in
Correct article usage
the russian
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russian
Change the capitalization
Russian
show examples
 lesson they might use the
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 and year by year, they can
learn
Add the particle
learn to
show examples
 speak to using
both
Use synonyms
languages
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time.
At
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 would be difficult to explain their opinion in a
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
language
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, If
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 would put the
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 in primary
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 they should put it three times a month just to
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
learn
 foreign
language
Use synonyms
 and it would be
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
 changing,
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
 method in the future.

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task achievement
Clarify your arguments by providing more specific examples and explanations for your points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall structure by using clear topic sentences and logical transitions between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammar and vocabulary to make your points clearer and more precise.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents an opinion on the topic, showing engagement with the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Enhance
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Pronunciation
  • Mimic
  • Native-like accent
  • Cultural awareness
  • Sensitivity
  • Exposure
  • Resource allocation
  • Qualified
  • Effective instruction
  • Overwhelmed
  • Curriculum
  • Undermining
  • Mother tongue
  • Prioritizing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: