Some people think that the Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that the
Olympic
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games
Use synonyms
are not worthy,
while
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others believe it is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best way to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication among other
countries
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. I think the
Olympic
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games
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allow the
country
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to make an
identity
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worldwide and
due to
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international relationships
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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to gain some donations from the developed
countries
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to make a good future
of
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for
show examples
sports
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. On one hand, the
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Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
allows to promote communication between athletes
as well as
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the
country
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's
sports
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governing boards.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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this
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enhance
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enhances
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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world unity and
provids
Correct your spelling
provides
provide
more opportunities because sometimes people not
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
some
countries
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unless they participate
the
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in the
show examples
event. The event
make
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makes
show examples
a pathway to get some extra funds or financial help from the developed
countries
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.
For example
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, some winners took their medals to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
own
country
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in
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
very first time but the next time they returned back with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
moral
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
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and good training because of extra money from the other
countries
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.
Therefore
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, I believe
this
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is the best way to maintain the
identity
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in the
Olympic
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games
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.
On the other hand
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, participating in
a
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an
show examples
Olympic
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tournament is very costly and should allocate enough government funds to represent the
country
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,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
for participants'
sports
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equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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,
cloths
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clothes
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, travel expenses and initial training expenses,
such
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as
development
Add an article
the development
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of infrastructure
according to
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the different types of
sports
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. Making
this
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investment,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should
cutoff
Correct your spelling
cut
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some
budjets
Correct your spelling
budgets
budget
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocated
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for
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to
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essential services
such
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as health and education
and
Correct word choice
as
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this
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leads to
drain
Correct article usage
the drain
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a
Change preposition
of a
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country
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's economy. Ultimately, if the
country
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unable to get a place
thses
Verb problem
apply
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all investments are lost.
For instance
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,
innthe
Correct your spelling
in the
Olympic
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Games
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many
countries
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returned back to the
country
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without any
medal
Fix the agreement mistake
medals
show examples
.
Therefore
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, someone could argue that it is a
wasting
Fix the agreement mistake
waste of
show examples
money, but I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paricipation
Correct your spelling
participation
is the most important factor
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
Use synonyms
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
a country's
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identity
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and
to build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
an experience. In conclusion, people
make
Verb problem
who are
show examples
a debt
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
participating
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
Olympic
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
are wasting money, but I believe
this
Linking Words
will offer a good opportunity to make a nation's
identity
Use synonyms
and pathway to obtaining some extra funds to enhance the
country
Use synonyms
's
sports
Use synonyms
future.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic but could be clearer. Consider rephrasing to make your opinion more explicit from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points, especially on how funds can enhance sports or raise a country’s profile.
task achievement
You engage with both sides of the argument, which is commendable and necessary for this type of prompt.
task achievement
Your concluding statement reflects a clear stance that summarizes your opinion, which is a strong point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global unity
  • foster
  • athletic prowess
  • cultural exchange
  • universal platform
  • transcending
  • infrastructure development
  • drain resources
  • long-term investments
  • financial imprudence
  • recouped
  • sustainable planning
  • mitigate
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