Some people think studenti should study the science of food and how to prepare it.Others thinks students should spend time on important subjects .Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is argued that
food
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science
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and
food
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preparation are crucial to learn,
while
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others believe that focusing on
the
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apply
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other important
subjects
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is valuable.
In
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This
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this
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essay will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
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both views and explain my perspective
of
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on
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this
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statement. On one hand, the main
subjects
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such
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as mathematics,
science
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and technology are essential to
learn
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learning
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during the primary
education
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because it is already in the curriculum. When applying for
the
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apply
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tertiary
education
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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important
subjects
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are playing
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play
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major
Add an article
a major
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role since
,
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apply
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this
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make
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makes
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a decision about
student's
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a student's
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future.
For example
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, there are more job opportunities available from
this
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subject
streams
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stream
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rather than
food
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science
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.
Therefore
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, learning important
subjects
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is crucial when aiming
a
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for a
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good job.
On the other hand
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, students should learn
food
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preparation and
food
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science
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as a life skill which provides benefits in the future.
Followed by
Wrong verb form
Following
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the
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apply
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school, students will choose their university courses or jobs and cooking
skils
Correct your spelling
skills
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very
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are very
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important in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
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as they can prepare themselves healthy meals. Knowing
food
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and its health
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
allows anyone to make their own dishes and helps to do groceries for the family with good
food
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choices.
Therefore
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, I believe
this
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is
also
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better to educate learners about
food
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science
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and include the curriculum. In conclusion, some people make a debate that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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should focus on major
subjects
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, but I believe that
food
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science
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and preparation
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
important to learn in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
primary
education
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as
a
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apply
show examples
life
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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and they can choose the special
subjects
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during
the
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apply
show examples
secondary
education
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by focusing on
a job opportunities
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job opportunities
a job opportunity
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your introduction would benefit from a clearer thesis statement outlining your opinion. Try to formulate a statement that clearly expresses your position on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work to catch minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. This will improve the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, ensure each main point is well-supported with specific examples and explanations. Some ideas are a bit vague and could use further elaboration for clarity.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and present both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced approach.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow of ideas, with separate paragraphs addressing different aspects of the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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