IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Having a salaried job is better than being self-employed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no denying the fact that
job
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security
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 is a crucial aspect for many individuals.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that having a salaried
job
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 offers more
stability
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 and benefits, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it, In my opinion, I consider that the choice between being salaried or self-employed depends on personal priorities,
such
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 as desire for
stability
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 versus flexibility.
To begin
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 with, salaried jobs offer a level of
stability
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 that
self - employment
Correct your spelling
self-employment
show examples
 might not always provide.
In other words
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, having a regular income ensures financial
security
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, allowing individuals to plan their lives with more certainty.
In addition
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, salaried positions often come with benefits
such
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 as health insurance, retirement plans, and paid leave, which are crucial for
long - term well - being
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long-term well-being
show examples
 and
security
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.
For example
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, receiving a monthly paycheck can alleviate financial stress, as it guarantees a consistent flow of money to cover living expenses and savings.
This
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stability
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 and
security
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 are significant advantages of being in a salaried position.Another point to consider
,
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apply
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 is that self-employment is less predictable compared to having a salaried
job
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that income can vary greatly when self-employed, leading to higher stress levels in managing finances.
Moreover
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, without a steady paycheck, individuals may face challenges in budgeting and planning for the future.
For instance
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, a freelancer's earnings can fluctuate significantly from month to month, making it difficult to maintain financial
stability
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 and
security
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.
Overall
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,
while
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 self-employment offers independence, the uncertainty of income can pose significant challenges compared to the
stability
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 of a salaried position.In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that whether a salaried
job
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 is better than being self-employed depends on the individual's priorities,
such
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 as financial
security
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 versus flexibility and autonomy.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more direct and clear position in your introduction. This will help readers understand your stance better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices, such as linking words (e.g., furthermore, however, on the other hand) to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
While you have provided some examples, expanding on them or including additional specific instances could strengthen your argument and demonstrate your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives it a solid framework.
task achievement
You successfully present both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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