Some people think that government should provide unemployed people with free mobile phone and free internet to help them find jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It can be
undeniable
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the undeniable
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fact that
employement
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employment
rise
Wrong verb form
is rising
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day by day
through out
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throughout
show examples
world. A group of individual inclined to
that
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the
show examples
rulling
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ruling
party of
nation
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the nation
a nation
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should provide free access
of
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to
show examples
internet
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the internet
show examples
with mobile, so it helps them to find new
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for their career.
While
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the given statement is
on
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in
show examples
the favour of it and
i
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I
show examples
will
explained
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explain
show examples
it with
relavant
Correct your spelling
relevant
reasons and examples. There are
plethora
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a plethora
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of reasons
for
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to
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justify my stand,
to begin
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with, it can
be encourages
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encourage
show examples
their skill development. To extend it,
this
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policy can help bridge the gap between those who have
acess
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access
to
technology
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the technology
a technology
show examples
of online courses, tutorials, and other educational resources to improve their skills and employability.
Furthermore
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, nowadays all of the requirement
process
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processes
show examples
for hiring and
job
Use synonyms
posting
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postings
show examples
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
on
company
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the company
show examples
careers website and on
sone
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some
show examples
digital
platform
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platforms
show examples
like
linkedIn
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LinkedIn
Linkedin
show examples
and indeed so on. So, mobile
device
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devices
show examples
and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
help them to browse for
job
Use synonyms
opportunities and show their interest
into
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in
show examples
it.
On the
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Contrary
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contrary
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side, there are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
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kind of facility, if individuals
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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misuse
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
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their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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personal
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, some groups of people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
watch movies,
Correct word choice
and browser
show examples
browser
Replace the word
browse
show examples
social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
. There might be concerns over how effectively the unemployed use these resources; some may
misuese
Correct your spelling
misuse
them for purposes other than
job
Use synonyms
serching
Correct your spelling
searching
.
To conclude
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it can be commented that there are benefits of mobile and internet if unemployed mankind
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
for
job
Use synonyms
serching
Correct your spelling
searching
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
there are some disadvantageous for it.

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language
Consider using more formal language and improving grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
coherence
Try to better structure your paragraphs to have one clear main idea each, and ensure that your topic sentences clearly reflect that.
task achievement
Expand your examples to illustrate your points more thoroughly, which will help to support your main arguments.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
task achievement
You acknowledged both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the complexities of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Facilitates
  • Bridges the digital divide
  • Equal opportunities
  • Skill development
  • Employability
  • Mental health and well-being
  • Online courses
  • Educational resources
  • Potential employers
  • Unemployment
  • Emotional support
  • Job portals
  • Communicating
  • Monitoring
  • Misuse
  • Access to technology
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