Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge-edge or experience.

Sports are
one
Use synonyms
of the greatest activities a human can do,
hence
Linking Words
, when sportspersons become
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
there is a great chance that they can impact others, because of how the media covers them.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay I will analyse why I do believe that they are the perfect role models for kids, providing examples that support my statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the path to
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
a professional athlete is full of challenges that they need to surpass to achieve their goals. Naturally,
this
Linking Words
is a great example for others to overcome the issues that can be present, not only when
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
a sport, but in their life too.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is inspirational to think about how some athletes who grew up in poverty ended up being
one
Use synonyms
the best
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
their careers. There are many examples of
this
Linking Words
situation. Carlos Tevez was born in
one
Use synonyms
of the most
dangeous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
areas of Argentina, but his talent helped him to get out of there and
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a champion in many
Europeans
Replace the word
European
show examples
football leagues.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Alexis Sanchez, who lived in the north of Chile, in a city called Tocopilla, which is a small city with almost no
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to practice sports, ended up leading the team that won the first American Cup
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
his country.
Secondly
Linking Words
, sports
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
not only about winning
thropies
Correct your spelling
trophies
, it is
also
Linking Words
about being healthy.
Consequently
Linking Words
, being a pro-athlete means that they are, in almost every case, persons who
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
up for their health. So, in order to be there, they must follow
a
Change the article
an
show examples
extrict
Correct your spelling
strict
set of rules on their diet,
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
rutines
Correct your spelling
routines
routine
and,
also
Linking Words
, leave alcohol, drugs and fast food behind. Certainly,
this
Linking Words
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
great example for younger generations. If their idol is a healthy person, by
triying
Correct your spelling
trying
to be like them, they are going to look up
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their bodies too. Cristiano Ronaldo illustrated
this
Linking Words
at a press conference when he took a soda and put it out a the table,
this
Linking Words
image impacted the world and gave a clear message of how unhealthy the product was to the audience. Alongside
this
Linking Words
, in Chile, football clubs are not allowed to be sponsored by beer or any alcohol brands,
this
Linking Words
imply
Change the verb form
implies
show examples
that the kids who wear their indumentary are not associated with bad habits. In conclusion, I strongly believe that professional athletes are
one
Use synonyms
of the best examples for children because they are covered by the media and have
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children with abilities and careers. Even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
, there are
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some cases of misconducted professionals, the majority of them are up to the standard of being
an
Change the article
a
show examples
person that worth
look
Change the form of the verb
looking
show examples
up to.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Ensure to correct minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity, such as 'I this essay' to 'In this essay', and 'thropies' to 'trophies'.
style
Consider using more varied sentence structures to improve the flow of ideas and maintain reader engagement.
content
Make sure all points are clearly linked to the central argument, and sometimes explicitly state how some examples support your points to improve clarity.
content
You provided strong examples of athletes overcoming adversity, which effectively supports your argument.
structure
Your structure is mostly logical, with clear paragraphs that separate your main ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dedication
  • Perseverance
  • Work ethic
  • Physical fitness
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Charitable work
  • Fame
  • Social issues
  • Giving back to the community
  • High-pressure environment
  • Drug abuse
  • Unsportsmanlike conduct
  • Personal development
  • Visibility
  • Platform
  • Conscious influence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: