IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some peoplesay that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 say that
music
Use synonyms
 is the better way to combine
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different cultures and ages. in my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 belief because
people
Use synonyms
 all around the world
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in
music
Use synonyms
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 years ago
such
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 performance was already a path of interacting and
exchange
Wrong verb form
exchanging
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each country. there
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
 different
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 with different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 but the sound and
vibrate
Replace the word
vibrancy
show examples
 of
music
Use synonyms
 can stimulate our
emotional
Replace the word
emotions
show examples
 to touch the meaning even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 we can not understand the
languege
Correct your spelling
language
.
for example
Linking Words
 in my country, one of the Khmer rap
singer
Change to a plural noun
singers
show examples
 was
invite
Change the form of the verb
invited
show examples
 to perform
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
 different county ,he mixed our
languege
Correct your spelling
language
 and traditional
sound
Fix the agreement mistake
sounds
show examples
 to sing which really highly
appreciate
Wrong verb form
appreciated
show examples
 by abroad. in
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
,
music
Use synonyms
 is not likely to gab between
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 some
music
Use synonyms
 can
enjoy
Wrong verb form
be enjoyed
show examples
all
Change preposition
by all
show examples
 ages
such
Linking Words
 as traditional
music
Use synonyms
 , Opera, classical
music
Use synonyms
,..etc. but some
music
Use synonyms
 can not
conviced
Correct your spelling
convince
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 or young generation to prefer too,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 elder
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 unlikely to enjoy Hip Hop or Rap and some new generations
is
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not prefer the old traditional
music
Use synonyms
 as well. example ,my grandparents can not endure the loud Hip hop
music
Use synonyms
 which
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 most
favoriable
Correct your spelling
favourable
 to my brother,
thus
Linking Words
 my brother
also
Linking Words
 can not enjoy the old
tradtional
Correct your spelling
traditional
music
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 my grandparents,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
middle
Add an article
a middle
show examples
 generation so for me
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can enjoy both younger and elder
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
music
Use synonyms
. in conclusion,
music
Use synonyms
really
Add a missing verb
is really
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good way of bringing
people
Use synonyms
 of
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 but not really bringing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different ages together.

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coherence and cohesion
Revise your introduction to be clearer and more structured. Also, ensure that your thesis statement directly reflects your position.
coherence and cohesion
In the body paragraphs, use topic sentences to make the main idea clearer. This will help in guiding the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify your examples and ensure they clearly support your points. Some examples need to be more developed or better explained to show their relevance.
coherence and cohesion
Review grammar and spelling for greater clarity. There are some minor errors that can distract the reader from your message.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by partially agreeing with the statement, which shows critical thinking.
task achievement
The use of personal examples, such as your own experiences with music, enhances the essay's relatability and engages the reader.
task achievement
The mention of different types of music across generations shows an understanding of cultural diversity in music.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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