There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?(EX)

In today's world,

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation should try their best to achieve a good position in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. It is considered by some individuals that schools should pay more attention to basic

subjects

Use synonyms

, involving more

classes

Use synonyms

and some non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

like some sports

classes

Use synonyms

shoul

Correct your spelling

should

be eliminated. I partially disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement for several reasons which can lead to physical weakness in

children

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, different kinds

Change preposition

show examples

sports lessons can be beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

's health, improving their skills and strengthening immune systems.

In other words

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

who take part in

such

Linking Words

lessons can live

Add an article

a more

show examples

healthy lifestyle with more developed muscles or athletic build.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they can gain more

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

besides

Linking Words

education

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, which can be useful in future.

For example

Linking Words

, in Denmark, most schools provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

Use synonyms

with

subjects

Use synonyms

about various professions and

then

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

can broaden their horizons.

Therefore

Linking Words

, with the help of

such

Linking Words

subjects

Use synonyms

, the young can learn more information, delving into different topics they are interested in.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, these types of

classes

Use synonyms

can be a good way to distract

children

Use synonyms

. To be more specific,

children

Use synonyms

can be easily affected and do not pay attention to more necessary lessons.

Hence

Linking Words

, they can hardly find success in their future life and face more challenges.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Azerbaijani, most of the

students

Use synonyms

with lower grades are mainly

distrupted

Correct your spelling

disrupted

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

classes

Use synonyms

ann

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

thus

Linking Words

they cause unemployment or financial problems in future. In conclusion, taking all the above-mentioned points into account,

although

Linking Words

non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

have some detrimental impacts on

children

Use synonyms

, in my opinion, these

subjects

Use synonyms

can

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

student's life in many ways, making them more skilled and helping them to hold a respective status in the community

i.nureddinnMon May 12 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly articulate your position in the introduction to provide better clarity on your stance.

coherence

Ensure better logical flow between ideas by using appropriate linking words and phrases in your paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and relevant details to support your arguments more comprehensively.

coherence

You presented a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

coherence

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective on the issue, making it easier for the reader to understand your stance.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that technological tools such body scanners and CCTV have significantly enhanced our safety and security, while others feel they have resulted in a loss of privacy. Do the benefits of these items outweigh their disadvantages?
In today’s climate, the issue of using technological devices has become a controversial minefield. While it is rational to accept that implementing technological gadgets like body scanners and CCTV can sometimes have a negative effect, it seems that they are more likely to bring about several benefits.
7.5
band
Physical fitness is essential for a healthy lifestyle. How important is it for schools to include physical education in their curriculum, and what can be done to ensure students remain active outside of school
Exercise is important for maintaining body health. In my personal opinion, schools should teach students about physical fitness because it can encourage them to adopt a healthy lifestyle. Schools should also organize sports competitions, and every educational building should have a gym.Firstly, maintaining a healthy lifestyle requires attention from a young age. Therefore, schools should include a physical fitness subject in the curriculum for every class. This is important because students need to know how to maintain their health and lead a healthy lifestyle. For example, when students understand the importance of walking daily, they may try to walk every day.Secondly, if educational institutions want to ensure that students practice sports outside of school in their everyday lives, they should organize sports competitions, such as football matches between different classes. This approach will help to motivate students and make them love physical fitness. As a result, when they en...
6.5
band
Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that foreign visitors should charge more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical places in our country. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this paper I will argue that it has actually made the country a much better place. I definitely agree with this statement. In the following essay, I briefly introduce some reliable reasons for this situation.
7
band
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six moths working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter *Explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months *Say how your work could be done while you are away *Ask for his/her help in arranging it
I am writing this letter to ask for a permission to work at our company's headquarter in London, The United Kingdom for a half year.
6
band
In some countries, more and more are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In many nations, people are fascinated by their home history and try to find and learn more about it. This behavior can be explained because there are reasons behind it. In this essay, we will explain why people are concerned about finding out about their houses and some ways to research.

Some people believe that technological tools such body scanners and CCTV have significantly enhanced our safety and security, while others feel they have resulted in a loss of privacy. Do the benefits of these items outweigh their disadvantages?

Physical fitness is essential for a healthy lifestyle. How important is it for schools to include physical education in their curriculum, and what can be done to ensure students remain active outside of school

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?