IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The environment changes rapidly because humans are destroying nature to meet their needs. Discuss this cause of environmental change and suggest some solutions for this problem .

There is an issue of fast-changing environmental conditions
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 purposed to satisfy their needs in different spheres.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the primary reasons like manufacture for
this
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 state and will provide possible solutions to escape the worst consequences.
To begin
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 with,
energy
Use synonyms
 has become one of the most crucial
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of
human’s
Change noun form
human
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 existence and it is irrefutable that it requires certain sacrifices to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the demand. Fossil fuels are the most demanding source to produce
energy
Use synonyms
 today, despite the fact of their drawbacks in relation to the environment. Million
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
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 of emissions are being released to the atmosphere. It causes the appearance of ozone holes that
opens
Correct subject-verb agreement
open
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 the direct path for sunlight
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and eventually
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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 the world to global warming and
disappearance
Correct article usage
the disappearance
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 of ecosystems.
Moreover
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, plenty of production wastes are thrown up
to
Change preposition
into
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 lakes, seas and oceans. They poison water sources which are used by animals and people
in
Change preposition
for
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 food, hygiene or other personal purposes.
This
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 issue requires certain solutions to resolve
this
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 continuous situation. Restricting rules towards usage of fossil fuels and promoting renewable eco-friendly
energy
Use synonyms
 sources to avoid
tones
Correct your spelling
tons
show examples
 of emissions and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 consequences on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
For example
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, countries like Saudi Arabia and others who are dependent on oil and gas should move on sun and wind
energy
Use synonyms
, because there is no guarantee that in 50 years there will be enough sources to produce
energy
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will contribute to
ecologically
Correct article usage
an ecologically
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 clean, free and safe future for all species. Animals and other kinds of lives will not suffer from human actions, and their numbers might return to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 previous state. In conclusion, people negatively influence
on
Change preposition
apply
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the environment to create comfortable conditions for themselves,
although
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cause
Correct pronoun usage
they cause
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 detrimental
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and its
habitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 state is caused by
energy
Use synonyms
 production and manufacturing,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are extremely crucial for them,
nevertheless
Linking Words
 should be reduced in numbers through
promotion
Add an article
the promotion
show examples
 of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 production.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer link between your points and how they directly relate to the causes of environmental changes, to strengthen the logical flow.
task achievement
Expand your suggested solutions to include more diverse approaches, such as individual actions or government policies, to cover multiple perspectives.
task achievement
Ensure your points are supported by more specific examples and data where applicable, to enhance credibility and depth of argumentation.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic of environmental change and discusses both causes and solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the discussion and summarize key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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