IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
The bar chart shows information about how families spent their weekly income in a country in 1968 and in 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average weekly spending was higher in 1968 than in 2018 in food, fuel and power, clothing and footwear, and personal goods.In the other categories like housing,transport, and leisure the spent
money
Use synonyms
 in 1968 was higher than spent
money
Use synonyms
 in 2018.The only category in which the average spent income is approximately the same as household goods. In 1968, the average spending
money
Use synonyms
 on food was 35%, which was the highest average of that year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest average of spending
money
Use synonyms
 was in the fuel and power category. The other categories were almost in the same average between 5-10%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in 2018, the highest average of spending
money
Use synonyms
 was on leisure, at approximately 23%. The second higher average was for the housing part and it was about 18% or 19%.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest part of spending income in 2018 was on both fuel and power
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and personal goods with the same average which is approximately about 4%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words money with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: