IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

he internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that technology plays a significant role in our
lives
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.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that the
internet
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 has a huge impact on individual
lives
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due to
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 its prevalence over television, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the
internet
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's influence on people's
lives
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 is significant.
To begin
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 with, the
internet
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 is key in spreading information, making it easier for individuals to access resources for education or business, which improves their
lives
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. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that in
this
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 revolutionary era, the
internet
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 enhances education, work, and hobby opportunities, making life easier for everyone.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points by providing specific examples and details to support your argument. For instance, discuss how the internet has changed specific industries or improved access to information more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to present a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Consider using transition words or phrases to enhance connection between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Review the conclusion; it should summarize the main points discussed and restate your opinion clearly. This will strengthen the overall effectiveness of your argument.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion at the beginning, which sets the tone for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction presents the topic effectively, and you show awareness of multiple viewpoints.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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