IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people use distance-learning programmes to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There are different views regarding remote learning and physically attending school to learn. And which is more beneficial to receive quality
education
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, Many think that distance learning is not the way to learn. In my opinion, I disagree with that statement. In the recent decade, People have pursued
education
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 online.
And there
Correct word choice
There
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 are multiple reasons why they choose
this
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 method
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
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.
First,
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It saves money and time for those who have a busy schedule, And I find it really useful and convenient. Whether the student has a part-time job or a parent who has a family to take care of.
Second,
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If the student lives far away from the establishment, online programs would be a real saver for her or him.
Finally
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, Some pupils don't have the privilege to pay the class tuition plus dorm rooms
while
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also
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 making a living for themselves. Nowadays, We live in a fast-paced world with vast ways of learning, And we have to level with the new changes to accommodate our lifestyle. Even if attending actual classes would be ideal for some students, since most of them engage better and have
a
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apply
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greater participation if they connected in reality with their peers and professors. They would waste time and effort just going to and from university
,
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apply
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 when they could have quality
education
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 from the comfort of their home
,
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apply
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While
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 doing other stuff.
For instance
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, pick up a hobby or attend workshops to gain useful skills. In conclusion, Online classes have become the new, fastest and most comfortable way of learning. And personally, I think it's the prime
education
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 in
this
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 generation.

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task achievement
The introduction could be made more engaging by stating the specific benefits of both distance learning and traditional education. This would help clarify your position right from the start.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea. The second paragraph, for example, mixes different reasons. It would be clearer if each reason was developed in its own paragraph.
coherence
Some sentences are long and complex. Breaking them into shorter sentences can enhance clarity. For example, 'Even if attending actual classes would be ideal for some students...' could be rephrased into simpler sentences.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or references to studies about distance learning to strengthen your argument. This will make your points more convincing.
coherence
The conclusion could be more emphatic by summarizing the main points of your argument succinctly rather than just stating your opinion again.
task achievement
You present a clear position on the topic, which is an essential requirement.
task achievement
Your essay addresses a relevant and timely issue, making it relatable to many readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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