IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skill is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion

There is no denying the fact that many people agree with the idea that gaining more background and developing soft skills is important,
while
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 it is commonly believed that an academic education is the best method to get a job, in
this
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 essay I will analyse and discuss both opinion and give my view. On the one hand, nowadays the first question you ask by the manager in your interview is how much know-how do you have ?
This
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 provides the importance of getting knowledge and developing soft skills,
in addition
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, if you are a new graduate you are a beginner in your job,
however
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, if you have more and more practice you are not.
On the other hand
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, university education is very important in a hard job.
for example
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, doctors or teachers,
moreover
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 they should take many classes and courses to get enough knowledge about their subjects
that is
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 what makes them allowed to help people, there is a study published by New York academy in 2008 concluded that 50 per cent of jobs look for your college education before anything. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question,On balance,
however
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, I tend to agree with people who have more experience even if completing your university is so important.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure to your essay with defined paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to support each viewpoint, which will give your argument more strength and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and to improve the clarity of your sentences.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the topic and indicates that both views will be discussed.
task achievement
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance, reflecting a clear opinion on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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