IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skill is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion

There is no denying the fact that many
people
Use synonyms
 agree with the idea that
take
Verb problem
gaining
show examples
 more experience and developing soft skills is important,
while
Linking Words
 it is commonly believed that a
university
Use synonyms
 education is the best method to get a job, in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will analyse and discuss both opinion and give my view.
On the other hand
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,
university
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 education is very important in hard jobs.
for example
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, doctors or teachers,
moreover
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 they should take many classes and courses to get enough knowledge about their subjects
that is
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 what makes them allowed to help
people
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, there is a study published by New York
University
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 in 2008 concluded that 50 per cent of jobs look for your
university
Use synonyms
 education before anything. Ultimately, every issue has multiple sides, and it is important to carefully consider both the advantages and disadvantages before reaching a final judgment. Different
people
Use synonyms
 may have different priorities depending on their background, values, or personal experiences.
Consequently
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,
although
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 a universally ideal solution may be difficult to achieve, making balanced, well-informed decisions based on critical thinking and long-term impact can help address key concerns in a fair, practical, and sustainable way. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question,On balance,
however
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, I tend to agree with
people
Use synonyms
 who have more experience even if completing your
university
Use synonyms
 is so important.

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the stage for your discussion, but it could be clearer. Consider rephrasing to make your stance more explicit and separate the views more distinctly.
coherence
In your body paragraphs, each point needs clearer development. Make sure to provide enough detail and follow a clear structure: a topic sentence, evidence, and explanation for each point you discuss.
coherence
Transition phrases between your points would help improve the flow of ideas. For instance, using 'Firstly', 'Moreover', or 'Conversely' can guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes your view, but it could be stronger. Rephrase it for clarity and reinforce your main argument more definitively to leave a lasting impression.
content
You provide a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
content
The use of examples, like mentioning doctors and teachers, helps illustrate the importance of university education effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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