IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Women can do everything that men can and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But it is a fact that their work is not appreciated as much as men's, although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. It is said, A woman's place is in the home. What do you think?

There is no denying the fact that more and more people agree with the idea that
men
Use synonyms
 can do anything better,
While
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 it commonly believed in arguments says
women
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 are stronger than
men
Use synonyms
 in everything in
this
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 essay I will discuss both views and express my opinion. On the one hand, nowadays female rights are saved,
in addition
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 to jobs
women
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 are one of the most important things to stand much of jobs ,I consider that public who agree with ( home is for
women
Use synonyms
) are almost in old age,
In other words
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,
women
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's now can do everything in the same level of
men
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's they
also
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 can do it from the bast but society standards was judged on them.
On the other hand
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, the biggest mistake the community make that cutting off the human brain and publishing unfair ideas about
women
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 and
also
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men
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 sometimes,
However
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, I support humans in general and stand with everyone,
Moreover
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, There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
Correct your spelling
studies
study
studys
Correct your spelling
studies
make
Correct pronoun usage
that make
show examples
 sure of that,
For example
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,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 is a study published by the New York University in 2008
conclude
Change the form of the verb
concluded
show examples
 that 100 per cent of people can achieve in the same level if they get the same support In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question,On balance,
however
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, I stand behind the study of New York University.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents your opinion, but the structure could be improved for clearer argumentation. Aim for a clear separation of ideas in distinct paragraphs, which helps guide the reader through your reasoning more effectively.
task achievement
More specific examples and details could strengthen your arguments. Consider providing personal experiences or broader societal examples that illustrate the points you are making about women's roles and capabilities.
language and grammar
Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing may distract the reader. Focus on proofreading your work to correct small mistakes and improve the overall fluency of your writing.
task achievement
You express a strong opinion on an important topic and attempt to discuss different perspectives, which reflects critical thinking.
task achievement
You include a relevant reference to a study, which adds depth to your argument and shows you have researched the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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