IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people argue that it is important to have a university degree to secure a good job, while others believe that work experience and personal skills are more crucial. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people say that having a university
degree
Use synonyms
 is the key to securing a great job,
while
Linking Words
 others
states
Change the verb form
state
show examples
 that
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 and soft
skills
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in the workplace.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both viewpoints before giving my own opinion. Some people argue that a
degree
Use synonyms
 is the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success, as in many fields individuals have to go with proper training and theory part to obtain a certificate from the university which is mandatory when applying for jobs,
such
Linking Words
 as a Dentist, a Doctor and a Lawyer. A
degree
Use synonyms
 reflects a person's dedication and hard
work
Use synonyms
 which shows that an individual is dedicated and hardworking. Those people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
argue that
experience
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 are important in the workplace, as it show their personality and how the person is managing the team in
responsible
Change the article
a responsible
show examples
 way. Some occupations
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 teaching, sales representative, teamwork
work
Use synonyms
 and many more need a person who is experienced ,
good
Add a missing verb
has good
show examples
 communication
skills
Use synonyms
 and
manage
Correct subject-verb agreement
manages
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 under various circumstances. In my opinion, personal
experience
Use synonyms
 and some
skills
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 necessary when applying for a job but I am not denying that a
degree
Use synonyms
 is not important. In most of the sites, 90% of companies require various
skills
Use synonyms
 and background
experience
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is only possible if you have qualities and relevant
experienceexperiance
Correct your spelling
experience experience
. In conclusion,
experience
Use synonyms
 and
degree
Use synonyms
 are a must when applying for a vacancy but
skills
Use synonyms
 make it easy to achieve task responsibility,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
workplace load.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction could be clearer and more engaging. Consider rephrasing the thesis statement to outline the specific points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a consistent structure for your paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea with supporting details and examples.
task achievement
Some sentences have grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Proofread your work to improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular jobs or scenarios where skills might outweigh a degree.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of task.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your points well and reiterates your opinion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career prospects
  • enhances employability
  • specialized knowledge
  • networking opportunities
  • practical skills
  • adaptability
  • interpersonal abilities
  • academic qualifications
  • on-the-job experience
  • evolving job market
  • formal education
  • job success
  • integration
  • optimal career advancement
  • varying importance
What to do next:
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