IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion

Most of the individuals reckon that it is comfortable for the children to study web material as compared to the books and written reports of the classes.
However
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, some ponder that printable pages are usable in education.
in
Capitalize word
In
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this
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 essay , both of
the
Correct determiner usage
these
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 ideas
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be discussed and later
the
Change the word
my
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 own opinion will be shared at
last
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 . The generation today is more dependent on online things as they can search
anything
Change preposition
for anything
show examples
 and it is available in seconds in front of them . It has the benefit of not carrying
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school bags
in
Change preposition
on
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 the premises or youngsters have no pressure to learn everything from their guides .It is shown in the report of 2023 that the peers who engage in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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internet learning had no pressure on their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 among the peers who had been working through the paper given by their teachers .
On the other hand
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pen and
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 are beneficial as when the students
wrote
Wrong verb form
write
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 the lectures in their notebooks , that stays longer in their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 and it is really hard to
forgot
Change the verb
forget
show examples
 the information provided to them . they have the opportunity to add more material
according to
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 their understanding and knowledge and it is
also
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 good for their concentration as they do not disturb by any other notification from any social media .
Recent
Add an article
A recent
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 survey showed that youngsters who are more involved in studies done in classes on printable material are more focused and
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 higher grades. in my opinion, both of the ideas have their place in the betterment process of the
children
Change noun form
children's
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 educational system.
although
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 prefer printing and writing the context over looking
from
Change preposition
at
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 the websites for studies.

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task achievement
Enhance the introduction by clearly stating the topic and your opinion more explicitly. Instead of just mentioning that you'll discuss both views, give a hint of your personal stance early on.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you have a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and be explicitly linked to the next. Consider using transition words for clarity.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas. For instance, mention specific studies or provide empirical evidence to illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. Minor errors such as 'recon' instead of 'reckon' and 'view' instead of 'veiws' can detract from your overall score.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of online resources and printed materials are relevant and interesting, showing critical engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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