IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This bar graph shows information regarding the preferred snacks choice of students in hilaries High School with equal number of boys and girls.

This bar graph shows information regarding the preferred snacks choice of students in hilaries High School with equal number of boys and girls.
The given bar graph shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information regarding the preferred snake choices of
students
Use synonyms
 in
hilarys
Correct your spelling
Hillarys
Hilary
hilarious
high
Capitalize word
High
show examples
School
Use synonyms
, with
equal
Change the article
an equal
the equal
show examples
 number of boys and girls. The results after collecting the sample shoot that the most
prefers
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 neck by boys in the
school
Use synonyms
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 ships and only around 125
mail
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
students
Use synonyms
like
Wrong verb form
liked
show examples
 fruits
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
show examples
 the other hand, fruits were the most preferred food item by 250 female
students
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the e-table like vegetables,
pretzeis
Correct your spelling
pretzels
, popcorn, crackers and cookies were preferred by around 150 girls in the
school
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 125
students
Use synonyms
 of both
both
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
genders selected vegetables as their preferences. There was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 difference of
near about
Rephrase
nearly
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
50
students
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of
a chocolate bars
Correct the article-noun agreement
chocolate bars
a chocolate bar
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, crackers were selected by
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most 170
students
Use synonyms
 for corn was the only snake that was liked by
equal
Change the article
an equal
the equal
show examples
 number of both male and female
students
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 snack watch tips by all the
students
Use synonyms
 in the
school
Use synonyms
 and
on the other hand
Linking Words
 least number of
males
Change the noun form
male
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 opted
fruit
Change preposition
for fruit
show examples
 from the given food items.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 76%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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