IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below show the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in a 2010.

The bar chart below show the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in a 2010.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart
depics
Correct your spelling
depicts
depict
 the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 of donations in buyer
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
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 in
year
Change the article
the year
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 2010. After analysing the chart it is clearly understood that cars were highly prevalent for
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in both the Nations with the difference of 50000 only,
whereas
Linking Words
 France had
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 number of consumers for computers
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
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 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 with the
expand
Replace the word
expansion of
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teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 of around 4
lakh
Use synonyms
 and 3.5
lakh
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was
the
Correct article usage
a
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 difference of around 1
lakh
Use synonyms
 in the expenses of books in both the countries. For the more the least selling words seen in
perfume
Add an article
the perfume
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 which was not above 2
Use synonyms
lakh
Change to a plural noun
lahks
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 in given Nation
Linking Words
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
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 a large difference is given for
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on cameras,
whereas
Linking Words
 a France outlet only did
lakh
Use synonyms
on the other hand
Linking Words
 UK shoe the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 of around 3.5
Use synonyms
lakh
Change to a plural noun
lahks
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be stated that
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 had
highest
Change the article
the highest
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expenditure
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cars
in contrast
Linking Words
 to other goods
of
Change preposition
apply
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where
as
Correct word choice
whereas
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 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 expenses were recorded for perfumes in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Nations.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, lakh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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